eiahmon | If I Ever... Become a Hogwarts Student

If I Ever...

...Become a Hogwarts Student.

1. If the wizarding world is at war, I will carry a semi automatic handgun with me at all times. That way, if some Death Eater or DE wannabe tries to kill me, I can put a bullet between their eyes before they can say "Avada Kedavra.".

2. If some school bully picks a fight with me, I will drop my wand in favor of a sucker punch to the mouth. Let's see him cast a hex with his lips swollen to twice their normal size.

3. If I hear a disembodied voice in the walls, which is followed by something attacking my fellow students, I will tell a teacher instead of worrying what they will think.

4. If something is attacking the students, and there exists the possibility that I will be a target because of my heritage, I will leave. I'm sure there are other magical schools out there.

5. If I am trying to explain something, and a prick of a teacher is interrupting me to tell whomever I am speaking to how confounded I am, I will hex him into silence and then continue talking.

6. If I am taking a person to the castle to face justice, and that person holds the fate of myself and the first parental figure I have ever known, I will stun the little fucker, just to be on the safe side.

7. If I have figured out that one of my teachers is a werewolf, I will tell my closest friends right away, instead of waiting for a critical moment.

8. If one of my friends is running themselves into the ground and looks frazzled and unhealthy, I will drag them to the nurse.

9. The second the Divination teacher predicts my death, I will drop the class.

10. I will be leery of a class taught by a teacher that assigns a biting book.

11. If I am in dire straits and in need of some serious help, I will ask a house elf, since they seem to know so much, and they will be more than happy to help me.

12. I will not allow a teacher I know to be a fraud to even get close to my broken arm.

13. The second my supposed best friend backstabs me in a jealous fit, I will drop him like a shot since he obviously isn't that great of a friend.

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