Since the last copy of it was so screwed up....

[eiahmon]

I had to delete and repost to get the formatting issues fixed. I hope this one doesn't screw up.

Title: A Moment of Stupidity Part 2: 1,094 - 1,120
Rating: R for language, and mentions of RAPE and M/M SLASH. Don’t like, then don’t read.
Disclaimer: Castlevania and its characters and situations are the sole property of Konami. I am making no money or profit off of this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: AU. What if Joachim Armster had lived through his fight with Leon Belmont? What might have been different? Well hang on, because Joachim is going to tell you all about it. From his kidnapping and forced turning to his rescue from the ruins of Walter’s castle, and from Trevor's birth and to Richter's death of old age, he tells all - and blames it all on Leon while he's at it.
Section Summary: Part 2 covers the twenty six years between Lament of Innocence and Leon’s death.
SPOILER WARNING!!! Spoilers for many of the Castlevania games!!
WARNING!! This fic my offend the religious! Read at your own risk!

7.
Buried Fears, New Friends

By late summer, I had graduated from merely implanting thoughts to implanting entire memories. It wasn't an easy thing to do. First I had to visualize the location that I wanted the memory to be in to be in. Then I had to construct the event that I wanted. Kerwin started me out small; at first I only had to alter an existing memory, something that was very difficult for me initially. This was largely due to the fact that I had to work quickly; I had only a few seconds at best before -my target realized that something was up.

My first attempt was on Matatias' tutor. I tried to place Kerwin in a memory of an earlier lesson, but I couldn't get the image of Kerwin to look, act, and move realistically enough. The tutor just shook his head, rubbed his temples like he had a headache, and then turned back to the lesson.. Matatias gave me a grin and a wink before he turned back to his book.

After weeks of failed attempts, I met Kerwin in his study and asked for help.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," I explained "but I just can't get it right."

Kerwin got up from his chair and joined me on the small sofa that I was sitting on.

"Look at me, Joachim." he said, and I met his eyes. Barely a moment later, I felt him enter my mind, and I was drawn back into my memories.

I found myself on the sofa in Walter's library, curled up next to him, watching the fire, while he read a book. I shivered; during the last few decades before my imprisonment, he had attacked me multiple times while in there, and I tried not to think about it. I forced myself to look up at him, and he looked at me and smiled. I thought that I could just barely see it in his red eyes, a touch of the insanity that would later consume him completely. He wrapped his left around me then and kissed me on the forehead. I knew when the memory had taken place, in my fifth year.

Now watch. I heard Kerwin's voice in the back of my mind, and suddenly instead of Walter, it was Kerwin sitting with me with his arm around me. I blinked; how had he done that?

I then found myself back on the sofa in Kerwin's study. I shook my head. "How did you do that?"

"I looked at the scene and simply visualized myself in my father's place." he replied "That is really all there is to it. Your difficult lies in that you are trying too hard to get it perfect, and it takes you too much time. You have only a few seconds at best before your target shakes you out. You must know exactly what you're going to do and how you're going to do it before you go in. Don't worry about getting it just right; the human mind is fickle. If you forget something, it will fill in the blanks itself. If you don't get something just right, they'll logic it away."

I nodded in understanding and began to think about the best way to do what I needed to do. True, I had no inclination to live among humans, so I likely would never need to use such skills, but I knew that I might need them sometime in the future. I heard Kerwin chuckle, and a second later, I felt him get up from the sofa and return to his desk.

I spent the rest of the day wandering the house, trying to implant memories in the servants' minds, though it wasn't until late that night that I finally succeeded. I had one of the cooks utterly convinced that she had seen me as a child when my "parents" and I had come to visit Wolf and his parents years ago. I had taken a memory that she had of Wolf as a child and inserted a child version of myself into the scene. The rest, like Kerwin said, did itself.

Giddy with success I went to tell Kerwin and found him in his bedroom, getting ready for bed. I excitedly told him of what I had done, and he surprised me by smiling broadly and pulling me into a tight hug. Because of the stigma of anything even remotely homosexual, physical affection from him had dropped off sharply once I had come to live with him. He had only initiated physical contact when he thought that I truly needed the comfort. So even though the embrace was tighter than I found comfortable, I did not attempt to get away.

My surprise was increased even more when he kissed me on the top of my head, and I hoped that no servants were around to see us. If we were seen, I knew it wouldn't lead to anything good. I went to step back to go to my own room, but he did not relax his grip.

"Kerwin..." I whined with a small shiver of fear when he didn't let me go.

"What is it, little one?" he asked softly as he tilted my head back and leaned down to place little kisses along my jaw line.

"Wha.. what?"

"Shhhhh..." My eyes flew open in shock then we he kissed me on the mouth, and his tongue darted in to touch mine. I could smell his arousal, and it was obvious what he was wanting, but I was so shocked that I did not try to get away from him, even though my mind was running around in panicked circles. Surely he knew that I was in no way ready for such an act, not after nearly three centuries of rape.

He seemed to take my lack of struggle as permission to continue, and he picked me up and deposited me on his bed. With a wave of his hand, the door shut, and I heard the lock engage. I felt my heart begin to race in terror, and I froze in place as he began to disrobe me. The scent of his arousal was very strong, and I felt sick when it finally sank in what he was going to do to me.

"Kerwin." I managed to gasp, and I tried to wiggle out from under him, but he was too strong for me to move. "Kerwin!" I was down to my linen underclothes by then, and I started to cry. "You're scaring me!" He didn’t seem to hear me, and I turned my head to the side, so I wouldn’t see as he took me. “Master, please.”

That final plea seemed to finally bring Kerwin out of whatever trance he had been in, and he seemingly realized what he was doing. He practically flew off of me, and as soon as his weight was off of me, I scrambled off of the bed and onto the floor. I huddled down against the far wall, curled up into a ball, and burst into tears.

I felt him move closer to me. “Joachim?”

“Stay away!” I sobbed “Please don’t come any closer!” I felt a warm rush of love and comfort from him, but it only upset me more. I cringed away from it and looked around desperately for an escape. He was standing in front of the only door, so I took the only other option available to me. I leapt to my feet and jumped out of the open window.

“Joachim, wait!”

I landed on the hard ground and stumbled, but I quickly regained my balance and ran, as fast as I could, as far as I could. I just had to get away from him. I could hear him calling after me as I ran, but I didn’t care. I just had to get far away from him.

I finally stopped and curled up in a ball of misery under the spreading branches of a large oak tree. I couldn't sense anyone nearby, so I thought it a safe place to fall apart.

Why? Why had Kerwin done that to me? The rational side of my brain reminded me that he had stopped before anything had actually happened, but it still had frightened me badly. What if he hadn't stopped? Would he have ignored my pleas and raped me like Walter had so many times?

"Joachim?" I nearly flew out of my skin when the familiar voice fell upon my ears. I jumped to my feet and quickly wiped at my teary eyes and saw Leon standing there, watching me with a confused expression.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He raised a single eyebrow. "I could ask the same of you. This is my land after all." I looked away for a second and wiped at my eyes again. "Are you alright, Joachim?" I intended to lie, to say that everything was fine, but I couldn't force the words out of my mouth. Instead, I shook my head miserably and sank back down to the ground.

"What happened, Joachim? You look like you're going to cry." I felt him sit down beside me, and I was a little startled by his bravery. I was no longer weak and sickly. I was back to my full strength, and I could have easily attacked him. No sooner had the thought entered my mind, than I heard a crackling sound, and I was violently thrown away from him. I landed in a heap several feet away. I pulled myself together and looked up to see Leon holding that whip in his hands, thought it looked different than before, and talking soothingly to it.

"It's alright, Sara." I heard him whisper "He doesn't mean any harm."

"What the hell was that, Leon?" I asked as I staggered to my feet and straightened my clothes.

"Sara evidently decided that you are a threat to me." he replied as I returned to his side and sat back down.

"Sara?"

Leon looked down at the whip in his hand, and for a moment, I thought I saw tears glistening in the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them away and explained.

"Walter... bit Sara, my betrothed. Rinaldo told me that killing him would save her, but my whip did not hurt him at all. The only way to destroy him was for Sara to sacrifice herself and allow her soul to be entwined with the whip. Only then was I able to destroy the stone and defeat him."

I closed my eyes and nodded in sympathy; it had been 300 years since Isaac had died under Walter's fangs, and his loss was still painful for me.

"Have things been well for you since then?"

He nodded faintly. "I was able to reclaim my title and lands, and I have received much praise for destroying the -threat that Walter represented." He sighed, and I could hear the grief in it. "I would trade it all to have Sara back." I nodded, and he turned to look at me. "You never answered my question; what happened? Why do you look so upset?"

I looked away and couldn't answer him. Just the very idea of explaining that I had run away because I had been terrified that Kerwin - Count Bernhard to him - had been about to rape me was too absurd to speak of.

"Did Count Bernhard... do something?"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't so absurd. Leon did not know of what all Walter had done to me, and I had no intention of telling him, so it surprised me how astute he was being.

I hesitated for a moment, and then I nodded.

"Did he.. hurt you.. in any way?"

I shook my head. "He only frightened me." I said quietly.

"Do you require shelter for the night?" I looked at him in surprise, and I saw no trace of pity, teasing, or anything else of that nature. Instead I only saw genuine concern and sincerity. I was about to refuse him, but the thought of spending the night alone out in the wilderness somewhere did not seem appealing. I could have gone to the village inn, but that would have started the whispers, and Kerwin and I did not need that. I could have gone back to Kerwin's house, but that mere thought made a chill race up my spine. So, to my own surprise, I accepted.

Leon and I returned to his home, a small manor house a few hours from Kerwin's home. He informed his servants that I was a guest until further notice. I was shown to a room where I could freshen up, and then Leon and I shared a late dinner. I found his hesitance at asking if I could eat equally amusing and endearing, though I haven't the slightest idea, even now, why I found it endearing. Maybe it was because he was trying to make a vampire feel welcome in his home, and it had him more than a little flustered. After dinner, we shared a bottle of wine in his parlor, and then I retired to my room. I was exhausted from the earlier events, and I fell asleep quickly. Just before I dropped off, I felt a brush across the bond from Kerwin, and I shuddered and curled up into a tight ball until I felt his touch recede.
 

Why did you do that to me, Kerwin?

*****

The following day, Leon and I shared breakfast and spent the day in each other's company. To my surprise we found a great deal to talk about, and we passed the hours in animated conversation. I learned that his father had defied his family's wishes and married a pretty young girl from Italy that had caught his attention. Leon had been born a year later, but when he was four, his parents had contracted the fever and died while visiting his mother's family. Sadly, since his maternal grandparents had always disapproved on the marriage, they had refused to claim or acknowledge Leon in any way. Since he had no relatives left on his father's side by then, the Cronqvist family had taken him in. Mathias had been ten years older him, and had resented his presence at first, but soon he had begun to see Leon as a brother, and the two had been close ever since.

"Up until he betrayed me." Leon said softly, and my heart ached for him then. Leon was alone; he had no family left alive, and he had lost his closest friend and future wife in a single stroke. He then went on to tell me how Walter had bitten his betrothed, Sara, and how Sara had allowed herself to be struck down and killed by the whip that Leon had borne, infusing her soul with it and giving it the power to destroy the Ebony Stone. To my shock, I learned that the whip also had the power to defeat Death himself, which had been the only thing that had saved Leon when Mathias had ordered Death to destroy him.

"I swore that the Belmonts would forever hunt the night," Leon added with a heavy sigh "but it wasn't until later that I realized what I had done. I know nothing of vampires. It was only Walter's arrogance that allowed me to defeat him. If he had been more cautious, I'm sure the outcome would have been different."

I thought for a minute. As much I disliked the thought, I now owed Leon twice over; once for saving me after Walter's death, and twice for giving me shelter away from Kerwin.

"I could help you, if you would like." I said hesitantly "I'm not especially old or powerful, but I know many of our tricks. I could tell you what to look for, and how to handle them." Even as the words left my lips, I couldn't believe that I had spoken them. I had just volunteered to help a slayer kill my own kind. True, there were many young vampires out there, alone and on their own for whatever reason, and many of them were nuisances that sent the humans into a frenzy with their carelessness. Older vampires often killed them whenever they came across them, and only if a homeless child could prove that they minded the rules were they taken in by another. That, I had been told, happened very rarely.

Leon apparently couldn’t believe it either, for he raised an eyebrow and looked at me. “You would do such a thing?”

“Are you going to hunt indiscriminately?”

“What do you mean?”

“Not all vampires are monsters, Leon. Many go about their lives and raise families in peace just as humans do.”

“They must kill to survive.”

“As do you, or is it different since you did not actually butcher the animal that we had for dinner last night?”

Leon frowned in thought, and I pressed on. “Nowhere in the Bible are we mentioned. Furthermore, we predate Christianity. The oldest in this area is nearly four millennia old, which means he was born long before the first Christians appeared. Yes, we kill, but only because we must. Yes, there are some that kill indiscriminately, but those vampires are shunned by other vampires.”

Leon seemed to think on my words for a long moment, and then he sighed. “I suppose then that I will only go after these nuisances that you mentioned. It pains me to admit it, but you are right; nowhere does the Bible mention vampirism. But -” He turned a fierce gaze onto me. “- if I encounter any that no anything of Mathias, then I will treat them accordingly. Do we have terms?”

“We have terms.” Leon smiled at me, and the fire in his pale blue eyes died as if it had never been, and I swallowed heavily. The man may have had no family or friends, but he certainly had a purpose, and woe to anyone or anything that stood in the way of that purpose.

*****

Late that evening, I felt another brush from Kerwin, and I couldn’t repress the shudder that ran through me then. I felt a flicker of hurt from him, which caused me to feel a brief moment of remorse. Maybe I needed to go home and hash things out with him, but I quickly and ruthlessly squashed that down. He had hurt ME, not the other way around, and I wasn't going to deal with him in any way, shape, or form any time soon if I had my say. I just wasn't... ready to see him so close after what he had done. Leon could plainly see what was bothering me, however.

"I do not know what Count Bernhard did to upset you so, Joachim." he told me evenly during my third night at his home. "You are welcome to stay as long as you wish, but you need to speak to him."

"I cannot." I said firmly, my tone warning him to not push the subject any further, but I should have known that any man brave enough to face Walter and strike down his betrothed with his own hand would be stubborn.

"Cannot? Or will not?"

I sighed in aggravation. "Leave it, Belmont."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No!"

"Then why are you so frightened?"

"Because he damn near raped me!" I shouted, and then I clamped my hands over my mouth in horror. I could not believe that I had just admitted that, or that I had shouted it out for the entire house to hear.

Leon looked in me in shock for a long moment, and I felt my face burn with shame. Then, as it is now, a rape was usually blamed on the victim, not the rapist. True, Kerwin hadn't actually done anything, but since he had tried, then I must have done something to entice him into it. I dropped to the floor in a boneless heap, and then, despite my attempts to stop myself, I began to cry. Behind me, I heard the rustling of Leon's clothes and the sound of the door shutting, followed by the sound of Leon walking towards me. He knelt down next to me, and I felt his arms come around my shoulders as he pulled me to him. I attempted to half heartedly pull away, but he would not let me go, so I simply laid my head against his chest and bawled.

"I imagine that Walter was not kind to you." he said softly, and I nodded miserably. "I also imagine that Count Bernhard's actions frightened you so badly because Walter had done the same." I nodded again, too tired and worn out to deny it. At that point I didn't care if he blamed me and ordered me out of his house, though I doubted that he would. If he was planning to send me away, I doubted that he would bother to comfort me first.

I had felt a brief flare of concern from Kerwin when I broke down, but I simply ignored him like I had been. So I was surprised when I suddenly felt his presence very close and heard his voice nearby.

"Joachim?"

I abruptly sat up and whipped my head around to see him standing by the door, and it occurred to me that I was going to have to go through a window again to get away from him. But before I could move, Leon was between us, his whip in his hands, and he cracked it just barely in front of Kerwin's nose. Kerwin went cross eyed for a moment as he stared at the weapon that had killed his father, but then his eyes turned to me. I scuttled back across the floor to back up against the wall, and I saw a brief flicker of hurt in Kerwin's eyes.

"Joachim," he said gently, but Leon cut him off before he could get any further.

"What are you doing here?" He cracked the whip again, and Kerwin reached out with one hand and caught the end of it, only to hiss in sudden pain and drop it. He quickly hid that hand in the folds of his robe, but not before I plainly saw the burn on his palm.

"I've come to check on my child." he said calmly, though he was eyeing Leon's whip warily "I am concerned about him."

"A little late for that, don't you think?" I saw a brief flash of anger in Kerwin's eyes at Leon's words before I turned away.

"Please go away, Kerwin." I said softly as I hid my face "I don't want to see you right now."

"I'm sorry, child, but I need to speak with you."

"He told you to leave." Leon's voice said firmly "and you will do so."

"Not until I speak with him."

"You've upset him enough for now, so I want you to leave."

"Out of my way, Belmont." I heard the anger in Kerwin's tone, and I shivered at how much like Walter he sounded then.

"No."

"I said out of my way!"

I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up then, and I jumped to my feet before Kerwin did something rash. He had inherited his father's temper, that I knew from the few times I had seen it, and I did not want Leon to become a target of it. Not if I could help it.

"Could you leave us alone for a moment, Leon?" I asked softly as I stared down at the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at Kerwin's face.

"Are you certain?" he asked, and I nodded, again without looking up. He sighed, and I heard him hiss a warning to Kerwin about not hurting or upsetting me further, before I heard him leave the room and shut the door behind him. He didn't go far though - I could hear his heartbeat just outside the door, and I had no doubt that if he thought that I was in any kind of distress, he would have come back in in an instant, whip at the ready.

"What do you want, Kerwin?" I asked, and the harshness of my tone surprised me.

"I came to apologize, Joachim." he said so softly that human ears would not have been able to hear him.

"For nearly raping me!" I looked up then, just in time to see him wince.

"I.. do not know what came over me then." He actually sounded ashamed, which surprised me. I had expected him to be like his father and use the whole: "You are mine; I can do with you what I wish." excuse that Walter had so favored. "I am so sorry, Joachim. I never meant to ever do such a thing to you. I never wished to hurt or frighten you."

"I can't trust you anymore! I don't know if I'll ever feel safe near you again! I can't... I can't come home with you. What if you don't stop next time? What if you actually..." I couldn't make myself say the words, and I dropped down to the floor again. Barely a second later, I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me to him. Like I had with Leon, I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't release his grip. I started to cry again, and he rocked me and stroked my hair and let my cry myself out.

"I never meant to hurt you, child. he whispered "I swore I would never treat you as my father did, and then I go and do what I did. I'm sorry; I'm so sorry." He sighed and kissed my hair. "I think it's time."

"Time for what?" I asked as I looked up at him through teary eyes.

"Time to let you go."

"Let me go?"

"I've taught you all that you need to know, and you're certainly old and powerful enough. Silvanus has claimed you as family, so not even Actose will be bold enough to bother you now."

I had an inkling of what he was talking about, but I wanted to be sure. "What are you talking about?"

Kerwin stood up and pulled me up with him. He turned me to face him, placed his hands on my shoulders, and looked me in the eye.

"Joachim Armster," he said in a formal tone "Child of inheritance I, your Lord and Master, Kerwin Bernhard, do hereby grant you your independence from me and mine. From hence forth, you shall be your own master and will no longer abide by the rules of my house. Furthermore, I grant you a portion of my territory to call your own, which you will defend with no assistance from me. Do you understand and accept?”

I was stunned for a moment. Whatever he had come to stay, I certainly hadn’t been expecting that.

“Do you understand and accept, child?”

I nodded quickly. “Yes, Lord Bernhard, I understand and accept.” He was no longer Master to me, since I was now an independent vampire. Walter had told me of the ritualistic speech that went with declaring a child independent, but it was the first time I had ever heard it, and it was something that I had thought that would never be spoken to me. There were slight differences in the speech depending upon the child. A child born to a vampire would be referred to as a child of body and blood, while a child that had been turned would be of blood. A child that had been taken would be a child of force, and a child given as a gift or rewarded as compensation would be a child of right. A child of inheritance was, of course, one that had been inherited after the death of a family member or former master.

Kerwin smiled sadly at me and pulled me to him, and this time, I didn’t fight his embrace.

“Come,” he said after a moment as he began to lead me from the room “I’ll show you how to mark your territory.”

A bewildering four hours later, I returned to Leon’s house. Kerwin had shown me how to mark my territory by simply marking a tree or something similar with a spot of my blood and then sending a concentrated blast of my power into it. Even after nature washed the blood away, the hint of my power would remain, and it would act as a marker to any vampires that came close. Drops of blood that were similarly charged that were dropped onto rocks and other objects linked together to fuse a barrier that would alert me if anyone crossed it. The marks would have to be renewed whenever I felt the barrier weakening, which varied with power level. Kerwin only had to renew his markers every year or so, while Walter only had to do his every three years. Silvanus only had to renew every half century.

Kerwin had also shown me a small, but comfortable and nicely appointed house not far from Leon’s that he had ordered constructed for me.

“I’ve been planning your independence for quite some time.” he admitted ‘but it was only after I nearly hurt you that I came to the conclusion that it was time.” He gently hugged me from behind. “Two of my servants will care for the house for you. They are human, but they know what you are, so do not fear them learning of your true nature.”

“They won’t lead a mob to my door?”

He snorted. “No, they owe me their lives and they know it. They are twin brother and sister, and their father died when they were small. When they were still infants their home was attacked, and their mother was killed. I rescued them, and they grew up in my house.”

He then introduced me to the pair, August and Ella, and I could plainly see right away why their house had been attacked.

Ella had hair that was the color of bone, and her eyes were a pale grey. Her brother had hair that was only a slight bit darker, the lightest shade of blond possible, and his eyes were red. Children such as them would have been persecuted from birth onward. No, I didn’t have to worry about them bringing any trouble to my door. Both of them were wearing a simple ring, and Kerwin had explained that the rings were spelled by Silvanus to bring up an illusion and make them look normal with a spoken word. This allowed them to go through town without fear of reprisal.

The pair had vision problems that were severe enough to prevent them from reading unless the writing was large enough, but they were literate, and they were very intelligent.

Kerwin had also explained what he had said earlier about Silvanus. Since Silvanus had practically adopted Walter as his son all those centuries ago, he considered Kerwin his grandchild. Kerwin had admitted his concerns that Actose would attack me once I was independent, and Silvanus had agreed. He had then announced that he considered me a grandchild of right, and that anyone harming me would face him. Other vampires may snitch his territory, but no one dared to attack those he considered family. Only Corvanus had dared when he set Kerwin afire all those years ago, and it was rumored that Silvanus had something to do with the riot that destroyed Corvanus’ house.

I explained everything to Leon over supper, and he was very interested and asked all manner of questions. After supper, we retired to the library, where I gave him an extensive lesson in vampire ethics and laws. He was eager to learn and absorbed everything I told him.

And so began my guardianship of the Belmont Clan.

Chapter 6 -- Chapter 8

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