eiahmon: (Trevor Belmont)
eiahmon ([personal profile] eiahmon) wrote2010-03-09 01:58 pm
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If I Ever... Become a Castlevania Character


If I Ever...



...Become a Castlevania Character.

1. If I am the master of the whip, I will avoid any and all romantic relationships until after I have defeated Dracula.

2. If I must take a girlfriend or wife, I will be aware of her location at all times. I will also teach her some magic or some other form of self defense, so when Dracula's minions show up to kidnap her, she can beat the snot out of them.

3. If my betrothed is kidnapped by the master vampire living in the Forest of Eternal Night, I will not be honest and leave my sword behind. Instead I'll take it with me because a) I likely paid for it myself anyway, and b) that helpful old man might not be there.

4. If my closest friend loses his wife and is positively devastated by the resulting grief, I will take as much time as possible to try and comfort him and ease his pain. Hopefully, that way he won't turn into a backstabbing prick.

5. When the final boss is defeated, I will get the hell out, fast.

6. I will find a way to hold more than the max amount of potions.

7. If I have left Dracula's service, I will not, for ANY reason, give up my powers. They just might end up being what I need to save my future wife or girlfriend when my former coworkers get pissy over my defection.

8. I will keep in mind when meeting a vampire imprisoned by the master vampire that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and I will try to at least form an alliance with him. Only if he refuses to listen will I take him on.

9. I will be leery when I see my kidnapped girlfriend or wife standing in the castle. She's likely a succubus in disguise.

10. I will think twice before swearing my entire bloodline to my own personal vengeance.

11. If I lose my memory for some unfathomable reason, and I later find myself drawn to a dangerous place, I will sure as hell make sure that someone tells me everything that I have forgotten before I go in.

12. I will not let my healer wife wander alone through a village of superstitious peasants.

13. If my wife is murdered, leaving me to raise my half breed child alone, I will shelter him from my evil ways at first. Then I will gradually introduce him to my methods so, by the time he is grown, he will not be disgusted and flee, but will be eager to join in and lead my legions to victory.

14. I will avoid having friends with jealousy issues.

15. I will be leery of any friends with jealousy issues that vanish for a long time and then come back with amnesia.

16. I will whip the shit out of ANYTHING that even slightly resembles a candle.

17. I will not question the tastiness of meat I find hidden inside stairs. Nor will I try to eat peanuts in a silly way that results in them falling on the floor, wasted.

18. If someone leads me along in an attempt to make my dangerous dark powers awaken, even though he knew it was a risk, as soon as they do, I will beat the hell out of him, because I was fine the way I was thank you!

*Special thanks to Rahenna for # 16 & 17


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[identity profile] ninjakitters.livejournal.com 2010-03-09 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. I've never played Castlevania, but I'm enough of a video game nerd to lol anyways. XDDD

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
NEVER PLAYED!!! OMG!

XD Seriously, you're missing out on quite a bit. The entire series (excecpt for the one due to be released later this year.) is part of a single massive storyline, and gameplay is always a blast. I have seven Castlevania games in total, and I'm searching used game stores for one that I'm missing.

Did I mention it's bishie heaven?

[identity profile] ninjakitters.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
LOL. I have heard a lot about it.

... Bishie heaven, you say? This is relative to my interests. Have any recommendations as far as the 3D games go? I'm not a fan of the sidescrolling stuff.

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
If you want bishes, go find Castlevania Lament of Innocence for the PS2. Castlevania Curse of Darkness for the PS2 is also good if you can find it.

Sadly, the sidescrolling games have hte best gameplay. If you can stomach the 2D I reccomend them highly.

Lament of Innocence E3 Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDcFSAr2DT0

Official Art Page:
http://www.castlevaniadungeon.net/Games/loi.html

The Castlevania Dungeon has lots of good stuff about the games. I'd look around in there. XD

[identity profile] ninjakitters.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my goodness, the graphics. And the voice acting! XD Joking aside though, I recently tried out the first Devil May Cry, and thoroughly enjoyed it despite the laughable graphics by today's standards. And seeing as I've seen Lament of Innocence described as being similar to DMC, can't hurt to try it out. It looks fun~ I heard a lot about it when it first came out, too.

I've been itching to play a new game lately, too. And PS2 games are super cheap, so Lament of Innocence might be it. Thank you for the recommendation! XD

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
I love Devil May Cry, just avoid the second one and you'll be fine. It's fucking AWFUL!

Make sure you grab Curse of Darkness too. The gameplay is a bit more involved, and Hector and Isaac are to die for. XD

Curse of Darkness E3 Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VW1xIeJ3Ik

The cuts scenes you see take a hit in the looks department in the actual game, but it's still awesome. :)

[identity profile] ninjakitters.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I've heard as much. >__<

Oh wow, the graphics and voice
acting vastly improved with this
one. XDD Though the gameplay for
LoI seems more appealing to me.

I think I'll get Curse of Darkness if I like LoI enough. XDD

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
The gameplay is a little deeper for Curse because of Hector's innocent devil system, so if you find it, I would grab it, because it might not be there anymore when you go back for it. XD

[identity profile] ninjakitters.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oooh, I just checked
Gamestop's site, and they
have both. Maybe I might
as well get both. XD

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-10 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Go for it, girl! XD

Oh and uh, you're gonna love Lament's soundtrack. XD Here are my three favorite tracks:

Lament of Innocence - Leon's Theme:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox2uW5Y6rj0

Dark Palace of Waterfalls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izj8elq1o1Q

House of Sacred Remains:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAqVxtv15XQ

Curse's soundtrack is not as good, but still very good.

[identity profile] rahenna.livejournal.com 2010-03-11 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
16. I will whip the s*** out of ANYTHING that even slightly resembles a candle.

17. I will not question the tastiness of meat I find hidden inside stairs. Nor will I try to eat peanuts in a silly way that results in them falling on the floor, wasted.

:DDDDDDD

[identity profile] eiahmon.livejournal.com 2010-03-11 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
*falls over laughing, goes to add*

Nice to see you again. XD Thanks much for the new addtions.