A Moment of Stupidity Chapter 2-5
Author: Eiahmon
Rating: R for language, and mentions of RAPE and M/M SLASH. Don’t like, then don’t read.
Disclaimer: Castlevania and its characters and situations are the sole property of Konami. I am making no money or profit off of this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: AU. What if Joachim Armster had lived through his fight with Leon Belmont? What might have been different? Well hang on, because Joachim is going to tell you all about it. From his kidnapping and forced turning to his rescue from the ruins of Walter’s castle, and from Trevor's birth and to Richter's death of old age, he tells all - and blames it all on Leon while he's at it.
SPOILER WARNING!!! Spoilers for many of the Castlevania games!!
WARNING!! This fic my offend the religious! Read at your own risk!
5.
Reminders
I whimpered as I came back to awareness. The first thing I became aware of was the pain I was in. My wounds burned and stung, my jaw was a riot of pain, and my entire body just ached from being dragged around. The second thing I became aware of was how cold I was, like I was lying in a snow bank. I was curled up on my right side, and I could feel the weight of the blankets that were piled on top of me, but that might as well have not been there for all the good they were doing.
"Are you awake, Joachim?" I heard Kerwin ask from somewhere very close. I opened my eyes a tiny bit to see him lying on his left side in front of me, looking at me in deep concern.
"Kerwin?" I managed to whisper, realizing how weak my voice was "What happened to me?" My jaw protested the talking, but I did my best to ignore it.
"One of the servants decided that you are a vampire and needed to be destroyed, Joachim. Do you remember?"
I did, alright, though I wished I didn't. "He tried to kill me."
Kerwin nodded, and I thought I saw tears gathering in his eyes. "The other servants stopped him, but not before he badly hurt you. You bled almost completely out, and you were badly chilled. You're going to feel quite miserable for a little while now."
"How.. how sick am I?" I could tell how bad I was; I could feel it, but I was hoping that he would tell me that it wasn't as bad as I thought.
Kerwin swallowed heavily. "You're not as ill as you were when I came to get you after Walter died, but you are very close, child. So very close." He reached out suddenly and pulled me to him, and I nestled close, feeling the heat radiating from him, which contrasted sharply with how cold I felt.
"Why do I hurt so much, Kerwin?"
"Because you haven't healed yet. I was unable to get you to swallow enough blood to heal your wounds. And you were dragged out onto a cold stone floor and thrown around. You were too weak and ill to be going through that, so you've relapsed some." He gently pushed me over onto my back and leaned over me. "You need to feed now, child." A moment later, his lips pressed down gently on mine, and his tongue slipped passed my teeth as blood poured into my mouth. I swallowed, suddenly aware of how thirsty I was, but too weak to pull harder.
Kerwin let me drink until there was nothing more left before he settled back on his side and watched me as I healed. Once that was over, he pulled me close to him and held me for a short while, and I realized then that I was in his bed in his room. I was grateful for that, even as I wondered how he had explained it to his servants.
“After what I did to the man that attacked you,” he murmured “I don’t think any of them will say anything about us sharing a bed right now.”` I shivered slightly, and not from the cold.
I spent the next few days in Kerwin's bed, with him never far away from me. I slept through most of those few days, waking only to be fed. Kerwin checked on me frequently, and it was during one such check while I was lying there only partially asleep, that I heard him talking to himself.
“He should have started to regain strength by now.” I heard him whisper “What is wrong?” I fell completely asleep before he could say anymore.
*****
It was the presence of a powerful vampire, one that felt familiar, that woke me several hours later. I cracked my eyes open to see Kerwin in the room, seated over by the fireplace with a silver haired vampire that I hadn't seen in over two centuries.
"Lord Asentii?" I croaked feebly, and the two of them looked up from their conversation at me. Silvanus smiled as they stood up and approached the bed.
"Hello, Joachim." he said quietly as he sat down on the edge of the bed beside me "How are you feeling?"
"Terrible."
Silvanus smiled again. "That is why I'm here, child." He pulled the blankets back, scooped me up, and held me on his lap. I looked at him for a moment, confused, before it dawned on me that he was likely going to feed me. Blood as old and as powerful as his could save a vampire that was at death's door, and it would help me greatly. He pressed my face against his neck, and I bit down into the large vein that presented itself. A second later, I moaned in relief as his blood filled my mouth, warming me and banishing the chill that I had been feeling for the past three days. As I fed, I felt his hands soothingly rubbing my back, and heard his voice murmuring in my ear.
After a minute or so, I pulled back and relaxed in his arms, feeling warm and sleepy. I heard Silvanus chuckle as I started to fall asleep, and then I felt myself being laid down in bed and tucked in.
"Thank you, Lord Asentii.” I managed to mumble, and I barely heard his whispered “You’re welcome, child.” before I dropped off.
*****
When I woke the following day, I felt much better, better than I had before that idiot had tried to kill me even. I sat up in bed and stretched, still feeling pleasantly warm, and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I was alone in the room, but I could sense Kerwin in the back of my mind, could plainly hear the heartbeats of those in the house, and could feel the presences of Matatias and Celia nearby. I knew the sun’s relative position in the sky, and I could hear the chirping of the birds through the thick stone walls. I smiled again at the return of my strength and the function on my senses.
The door opened, and a servant stepped in. She didn't give me a glance as she walked over to the fireplace and built the smoldering embers back up. I felt the warmth of it wash over me, and I smiled again, reveling in the feeling. I was so wrapped up in the joy of being warm again, that I at first didn't notice the servant walking towards the curtained windows. I heard the rustle of the heavy fabric as she grasped them in her hands, and before I could protest she pulled them open in one abrupt motion. I threw my arm up to protect my face, even as I knew that it was a futile gesture. My arm would not be able to protect me from the sun's burning rays.
So I was surprised when I didn't begin to burn. No smoke rose off of me, no burning agony filled my body. I lowered my arm to see the servant regarding me strangely and bright light pouring through the windows and filling the room. I looked down at my hands, amazed to see no smoke rolling off of them, and I felt Kerwin brush against the back of my mind, questioning. I sent back the warmth and comfort I was feeling, as well as my new ability to be in sunlight, and I felt a surge of pride and happiness from him. Barely a second later, I felt him moving towards me, and he stepped into the room. He dismissed the servant, and once she had gone, he scooped me up into his arms and held me close. I was surprised at his actions - he had held me before yes, but never like that.
"I'm so glad it worked." he murmured into my hair "I was worried that it wouldn't."
"What do you mean?" I asked as he sat down on the bed and laid me down. He sighed before he proceeded to prop me up on the pillows.
"Joachim," he said quietly once that was done. "Sometimes when a vampire becomes very ill from abuse and neglect, there is a chance that they may never recover. It's a small chance, and at first I wasn't worried about it happening to you. But then that idiot tried to kill you, and you didn't seem to be recovering. I was worried that it was the final straw and that you weren't going to get better."
I swallowed heavily: I could have lived without that information. "Is that why Silvanus came? To feed me and hopefully give me my strength back?"
"Yes." Kerwin closed his eyes and continued without opening them. "If it had failed, you would have been dependant on me for as long as you lived. You would have always been weak and ill and unable to care for yourself."
"But why? With all of our healing ability, how can something like that happen?"
"Our powers are dependant on the blood we drink. If we go for too long without enough of it, it somehow permanently damages us in some way and leave us incapable of realizing our full strength. When you did not heal after what happened, I worried that it had happened to you.”
The though of feeling so miserable for the rest of my life made me feel queasy. “Have you ever seen it before?”
“Once.” He shuddered. “There is another old vampire in this area. His name is Ladislas, and he is only a few centuries younger than Silvanus. He is a cold, heartless, emotionless man, and he is very dangerous. Avoid him at all costs if you can. Even my father was afraid of him. He has one child - named Rachim I believe. Anyway, I met him once, not long after Father declared me independent. Rachim was a grown man, but he was curled up in a tight ball at Ladislas’ feet, wearing heavy robes and wrapped in a blanket, but he was shivering so hard. He was thin and pale, and seemed to be having a hard time holding his head up. Ladislas freely admitted that he was that way due to years upon years of being starved and abused after his turning. The worst part was how devoted Rachim was to him, like Ladislas was the most wonderful person in existence and was in no way responsible for Rachim’s own deplorable condition.”
I shuddered. "How can anyone be so devoted to one who abused them so badly?" Once Walter had begun to be seriously cruel to me, any affection I'd had for him had dried up quickly.
Kerwin shook his head. "I do not know. I do not even know how old Rachim is, other than that he is older than me. Not even Father knew his age. He could be millennia old himself, but he was weak as a newborn kitten."
"I wonder how often he has to feed."
"I would imagine quite often. He was every bit as ill as you were, and I was feeding you multiple times a day. Speaking of which, are you thirsty?"
"A little."
Kerwin held out his arms invitingly, and I crawled up onto his lap. He waved his hand at the door, and it swung shut just as I bit into the vein on his neck.
Once I had finished, Kerwin tucked me back into bed with the admonishment that just because Silvanus' blood had worked, that was no excuse to push it. His blood had saved me once, it might not save me a second time. That was all it took to get me to agree to stay in bed - I had no desire to push my luck and end up ill the rest of my existence. Kerwin settled into the chair beside the bed, and he told me about various goings on in the area for a while before I started to feel tired again. I felt a moment of panic, afraid that Silvanus' blood had given me only a temporary reprieve like Walter's had done, but Kerwin assured me that I was simply not fully recovered yet. Soon, the fatigue and everything else that I was suffering would fade.
"I'll have to put you back in your own bed now." he told me before he left the room "The servants have kept quiet before because you were so ill and because one of their own had hurt you, but now that you're better, you'll have to go back to your own room."
"Will I be there when I wake up?"
"Likely. Now get some rest, child. We'll talk more when you wake up."
"Alright." I settled down into the pillows and sighed contently. I was relieved more than I can say that I wasn't feeling
miserable anymore, but like Kerwin said, I was still recovering and so I was able to fall asleep quickly.
*****
A few days later, I was sitting up in bed, reading a book, when a servant informed me that Lord Belmont had arrived. I was surprised at that because I could not fathom why he had returned. He had already checked up on me, and I had thanked him, so I could think of no reason for him to come back.
Unless... he was going to take advantage of the debt I owned him?
I quickly quashed that thought; Kerwin would never allow such a thing to happen to me. At least I hoped he wouldn't. I shook my head and tried to go back to my book, but my thoughts kept wandering back to Leon and the reason for his visit.
It wasn't until several minutes later that he and Kerwin appeared. I could hear Kerwin warning him again about tiring me out, and Leon's murmuring agreement to be careful and leave once I began to show signs of tiring. Kerwin then stepped into the room and told me that Leon had come to visit and asked if I was up to seeing him. I was a little leery, but at a surge of comfort and reassurance from Kerwin, I nodded my agreement. Kerwin smiled and stepped out, and Leon stepped in. He seated himself in the chair beside my bed again, and again he spent a moment looking me over before he smiled and nodded, as if he was satisfied with what he saw. I barely contained a flinch and felt a soothing touch from Kerwin brush across my mind.
"I brought your swords." Leon said suddenly, shattering the silence of the room. I blinked at him. Swords? What swords? Then it dawned on me that he likely meant the five large swords that Walter had given me. How in the world had he gotten them out of the castle? They were so large and heavy that he should have had trouble lifting one, much less carry one out of the castle. And why had he brought them? I personally did not care if I ever saw them again. To me they were a reminder of Walter's cruelty, and I never wanted to lay eyes on them again. Still, he had gone through the effort, so I thanked him politely for it. He looked startled for a moment, and I realized it was the first time he had heard me speak since that day in the Dark Palace of Waterfalls.
"You're welcome." he said after a moment's pause "I've been salvaging things from the ruins of the castle, mostly books and such. Is there anything of yours that you want returned?"
I shook my head no. Anything that I had there were given to me by Walter, and I wanted no reminders of him if I could help it. Leon didn't say anything, but I could see the understanding in his eyes, and he nodded again.
"I've brought a few things to Lord Bernhard as well." he continued "Some books, a few paintings, including one that seems to be of Walter and a blond woman, and I found the shards of the Ebony Stone and gave them to him. They have no power now, but I thought he might like to have something of his father's, even if I hated the man."
I leaned back against my pillows and laid the book down on the blankets and asked the question that I had been pondering ever since I had regained consciousness in his arms in what seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Why?"
Leon looked startled and a little confused. "Why what?"
"Why did you save me?"
Leon blinked at me, then he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
"You were not turned willingly, were you?"
Now it was my turn to blink; I hadn't expected that question. "No."
"When I was a boy, I heard about the Armster family. A noble family, plagued by a terrible curse, a curse that brought a silver haired demon into their midst, while wearing the form of their middle son. The lord was killed by the demon, and the rest of the family slaughtered by a mob that came to kill the vampire." He opened his eyes and looked at me. "How close is that to the truth?"
I sighed. "Close enough. My father was killed by the mob, not by me, and Walter killed my little brother."
"Why?"
"Because he would never share me with anyone, not even my brother."
Leon nodded in understanding. "When I saw you and heard you speak, I heard your anger and rage, and I knew that you hated Walter as much as I did, perhaps more so. I realized then that maybe you were his victim too, that you had also had something precious taken form you. Am I right?"
I nodded. "My humanity, my life, my everything."
"That is why I went down to fetch you and why I went through so much to try and keep you alive. Because you were every bit his victim as I was. I saw you bleeding during our fight, and Rinaldo informed me that only the most severe abuse and neglect can cause such a thing. I couldn't leave you to die down there alone."
I closed my eyes. "Thank you for telling me." I said quietly.
Leon said nothing in response, but I heard a slight rustling of his hair and clothes, and I knew that he was nodding. We were silent for the next few minutes, as I was lost in thoughts of years past, and while I have no idea what he was thinking, I knew that Leon was deep in thought as well. Then I felt his hand come down gently on my shoulder and squeeze lightly. I didn't open my eyes, and I heard him walk quietly out of the room, and a few minutes later, I heard his heartbeat leave the house.
A few minutes later, Kerwin appeared, and he helped me settle down for a nap.
"Kerwin?" I asked softly as he went to leave the room "Did Leon give you the Ebony Stone?"
"The shards of it, yes." his voice was the quietest I have ever heard it, before or since.
I rolled over on my right side to face him. "Why did you tell Walter, all those years ago, that he had to quit using it?"
Kerwin closed his eyes, and the link between us slammed shut from his end, as if he was trying to stop me from getting what he was feeling. He stood as still as a statue for the longest time, and I feared that I had angered him, but he finally opened his eyes and moved to the chair by the bed and sat down.
"What do you know of the Ebony Stone, Joachim?"
"A stone accidentally through alchemy that creates eternal night over it's master's lands. It's semi sentient and so chooses its master, and it's believed that it will destroy the sanity of anyone not deemed suitable."
Kerwin nodded. "You are correct, but there is one thing that was not discovered until years after its creation. It will gradually destroy the sanity of its master, suitable or not." He looked at me expectantly, and I suddenly understood.
"You mean to tell me that the stone... drove Walter insane?"
"Yes, I believe it did. My father was not a kindly man, but he was never cruel, and he had been a loving father to me when I was a child. Silvanus tells me that at one time, he was just a normal child, with normal hopes and dreams, but after he mastered the Ebony Stone, he began to change, so by the time he sired you, he was a completely different person than the one that we knew."
"A child? Silvanus knew Walter when he was young?"
Kerwin nodded. "My father was not even a century old when he came to this area, too young to be out on his own. Silvanus took him in."
"Why was he out alone?"
Kerwin shook his head. "That is a story for another day; you need to rest."
"But -"
"No, you need to get some sleep." I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. I was tired, but he had given me the tantalizing hint of an interesting story, and now he expected me to sleep!
"Do you want to be ill the rest of your life?" he asked sternly.
"No," And with that, I laid down and smiled weakly at him. His gaze softened, and he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
"I love you, Joachim." he murmured "I know you're tired of being in bed all the time, but soon, you'll be well enough to get up and move around. I doubt that right now, you could walk if you tried, so just be patient a little while longer, and things will get better." He brushed my hair back from my forehead and stood up as I nodded. "Get some sleep now." He backed up a few steps before he turned and walked out of the room.
It took me forever to fall asleep, but eventually I did, only to be woken several hours later.
I sat up in bed, and tried to listen for what had woke me, but the house was dark and silent. It was so late at night that not even the servants were up. I strained my ears again, and I thought I heard a muffled sob. Someone was crying. I listened some more, but I didn't hear anything for several minutes, so I gave up and laid down to go back to sleep. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard another sob, and I realized that I wasn't hearing them with my ears, but with my mind. That meant that it was either Matatias or Kerwin that was crying, and if it was Matatias, Kerwin would soon hear him and go tend to him. If it was Kerwin, well....
I tried to go back to sleep, but another sob kept me from doing so, and this time I realized that it wasn't Matatias crying. It was Kerwin. I blinked in surprise; I hadn't heard him cry since that one day all those years ago. I tried not to think about that day, but it was at the forefront of my mind as I threw my blankets back and climbed out of bed. Or rather, I tried to. My legs collapsed under me the instant I tried to put my weight on them, and I crumpled to the floor. I gripped the edge of the bed to try and pull myself up and managed to get back up on the mattress. I contemplated going back to sleep as it was obvious that I was still too weak to be walking around, but another sob in the back in my mind convinced me to try and get to Kerwin, one way or another.
I hesitantly put my feet back on the floor, which made me break out in shivers, and I cautiously eased myself off of the bed and onto my legs. I held onto the bed just in case, and while my legs shook, I did not fall. I carefully lifted my right foot and took a tiny step, and my legs shook even harder. I didn't see how I was ever going to get out of my room and down the hall to Kerwin's rooms, but I knew I had too. If Kerwin was crying, then something was seriously wrong.
I wobbled down out of the room and down the hall, using the walls and nearby furniture to stay on my feet. Twice I had to stop and sit down before I fell down and rest, so it took me several minutes to reach Kerwin's rooms. The crying did not stop as I made my way there, and when I wandered through his door, I saw him sitting in the center of his bed, dressed in only his nightshirt, and holding a small framed portrait, sobbing. He didn't notice me as I wobbled up to the bed and climbed up next to him.
He jumped and dropped the portrait, allowing me to see that it was a portrait of Walter.
"Joachim! What are you doing out of bed?"
"I heard you crying."
He smiled shakily at me and wiped his face with the sleeve of his gown. "You should have stayed in bed. What if you had relapsed again?"
“I’m more concerned about you, right now.” I replied “I’ve never heard you cry before.” I had, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to mention that day in front of him. I really didn’t want to see Kerwin’s directed at me if I could help it.
He smiled a weak smile. “I cried plenty of time when I was younger, Joachim, trust me.”
I nestled closer to him. “Why were you crying?”
He slowly turned his head and looked at the portrait that was lying on the bed. I looked closer at it and that Walter was not alone. A young Kerwin, likely no older than ten or so, was in the portrait as well.
“He was my father, Joachim.” he whispered “He and Matatias were the only family I had. He loved me once; I was the center of his world, and he mine. The stone changed him; it turned him into a stranger.” Kerwin let out a choked sob. “I miss him so much.”
Our sibling bond, which until then had been closed on his end, flared to life, and his grief washed over me as he started to cry again. I put my arms around him, pulled him to me, and held him like he had held me so many times. I coaxed him into lying down with his head on my lap, and I stroked his hair until he calmed and quieted.
He slowly sat up and mopped his face with the sleeve of his gown. “Thank you.” he said hoarsely. I smiled a small smile, and he stood up from the bed, scooped me up into his arms and carried me to my own room and tucked me into bed.
“Goodnight, Joachim.” he whispered, and then he walked out of the room.
Chapter 4 -- Chapter 6
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