AMoS Part 2-3

[eiahmon]

Title: A Moment of Stupidity Part 2: 1,094 - 1,120 Chapter 3
Category: Castlevania
Rating: R for language, and mentions of RAPE and M/M SLASH. Don’t like, then don’t read.
Disclaimer: Castlevania and its characters and situations are the sole property of Konami. I am making no money or profit off of this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: AU. What if Joachim Armster had lived through his fight with Leon Belmont? What might have been different? Well hang on, because Joachim is going to tell you all about it. From his kidnapping and forced turning to his rescue from the ruins of Walter’s castle, and from Trevor's birth and to Richter's death of old age, he tells all - and blames it all on Leon while he's at it.
Section Summary: Part 2 covers the twenty six years between Lament of Innocence and Leon’s death.
SPOILER WARNING!!! Spoilers for many of the Castlevania games!!
WARNING!! This fic my offend the religious! Read at your own risk!

3.
Past Events, Future Plans

I woke hours later from my magically induced sleep, screaming in horror. It had been that one nightmare again, only this time there had been one major difference. The figure rising from behind Mathias had been accompanied by the sound of screaming, not my own. The voice - which sounded very familiar to me - doing the screaming was filled with terror, and I shared in that terror, screaming in unison in a scene that felt terrifyingly familiar. The other voice faded away and grew quiet as I felt a bond stretching to the breaking point, but not snapping.

The sound of running footsteps sounded in my ears as I thrashed weakly on my bed, trapped in place by the heavy blankets and my own weakness. I felt hands come down on my shoulders and try to hold me in place, but either fear, Kerwin's blood, or some combination of both had given me enough strength to put up a decent fight against a human. Of course, still locked in a panic attack like I was. I didn’t know it was a human trying to restrain me, I didn’t have the slightest idea who or what it was, and that only made my panic worse.

Joachim!

I screamed again at the familiar, yet feared, voice yelling my name as other hands clamped down on my arms and legs.

Joachim!

I screamed again, and again, and again, struggling as hard as I could against those who were restraining me, but I was still too weak to throw them off or maintain a struggle for too long, and soon I sagged limp onto my bed, exhausted, but still terrified. I was crying quietly as the hands let go of me, wondering next what was going to happen to me.

Get me out of this, Joachim!

"Child?"

I tried to shriek but was unable to when I felt a hand touch the side of my face. I desperately wanted to jerk my head away from the touch, but my head had seemingly become too heavy for me to move. I mentally cursed my weakness as my blankets were pulled away, and I felt hands grasp me under the arms, and lift me up to sit on someone's lap.

"I want everyone out of here now." the new voice, that a tiny part of me recognized as Kerwin's, said quietly "He's panicked enough." I heard the sounds of footsteps leaving and the sound of a door shutting, while the person who held me began to gently rock me and pet my hair.

"It was just a nightmare, Joachim." the voice said soothingly "It's time to wake up." I saw an image in my mind then, like I had earlier, of myself being held on Kerwin's lap, while he stroked my hair. I whimpered and forced my eyes open, immediately recognizing my room in Kerwin's house.

"Are you awake now?" Kerwin asked. I looked around a bit more, making absolutely sure that I was no longer dreaming, before looking at Kerwin.

"Was it the same one again?" he asked, as I laid my head on his shoulder, and wrapped my arms around him, holding on as tight as I could. I didn't answer, only just then realizing how hard I was shaking.

"Joachim?" he prompted gently.

I shook my head. "It was, but it was... different."

"Different? How was in different?"

I shuddered. "When that thing rose up from behind Mathias, I heard someone screaming, and I was screaming too, and I've never felt so frightened in my life. The other voice faded away, and I felt a bond - like the one Walter and I had - stretching almost to breaking, but not doing so."

"Do you know the other voice?"

"I think.. I think it was Walter."

Kerwin was silent for a moment, before speaking again. "What happened then?"

"I started to fight, and I couldn't get out from under the blankets, and I felt hands holding me down, and he was yelling my name, like he did when he was really angry with me, and then he yelled for me to get him out of something. Then I heard you call me."

"It was the servants holding you down. They were trying to keep you from hurting yourself."

"Why weren't you there?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was whining. Normally if I woke screaming, he was the first one there, but this time had been different.

"I wasn't in the house. I was speaking to Belmont when I sensed your distress."

"Leon? Why?"

"He and I had something very important to discuss. You don't need to worry about it just yet."

He was hiding something; I just knew that he was, just as I knew it had something to do with Walter, and by extension, me.

"Does.. does it have something to do with me, Kerwin?"

"No, Joachim."

He was lying. Worse, I could feel the fury and rage rolling off of him in waves, and it scared me.

"Did I do something wrong?" Don't ask me why I asked him that. Blame it on my constant fear of being hurt and punished.

"No Joachim, it has nothing to do with you."

I didn't understand why he was lying to me, and the only thing I could think of was that I was to blame for something, real or imagined. I couldn't guess what I could have done to anger him, but if Walter hadn't needed an excuse to take his anger out on me, then I reasoned that Kerwin wouldn't either.

Kerwin laid me back down and tucked my blankets around me, and I whimpered, not wanting to be left alone. The nightmare had been strong enough to get to me during a magically induced sleep, so I knew that there was nothing to prevent it from getting at me again.

"Kerwin..."

"I'm not angry at you, Joachim."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it has nothing to do with you."

"Why are you lying to me!"

"Joachim..." I heard the warning in his voice - he sounded so much like Walter then, that I couldn't mistake it - but I ignored it. I do not know why I did.

"Just tell me, Kerwin."

"Not now, Joachim!" he yelled suddenly, leaping to his feet "Why do you keep insisting that I tell you!" I shrank back against my pillows and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the pain of his hand connecting with my face. Instead I heard his footsteps leaving the room and the sound of the door slamming. I opened my eyes a tiny bit to see that I was alone in my darkened room, and that he had indeed shut the door behind him, something that he said he would never do because he knew being closed in frightened me so badly.

"Kerwin, come back." I said weakly "Don't go." I watched the door, hoping to see him walk back through it. He would apologize for frightening me and hold me like he always did when I was scared. Then he would tell me what had him so angry. I wanted so badly for all that to happen.

But he didn't come back. In fact I couldn't even feel him anymore; he had closed me off. Our sibling bond had strengthened by being so close all the time and by my frequent drinking of his blood, so we could sense each other easily, hence the reason he had able to tell that I was in distress while at Leon's home. I felt a strange pressure in my chest, and tears began running out of my eyes. My chest hitched, and I started to cry. I'm not sure why I was crying, maybe it was from fear of being hurt or rejected, or maybe it was just because I was sad that he had left me when I was already upset, something that he had never done before in month I had been there. Or maybe it was because my emotions were about to go out of control again. Whatever the reason, I was soon sobbing into my pillows and wanting desperately for Kerwin to come back. So lost in my misery, I didn't hear the door open or hear Kerwin walk up to the bed.

"Come here, child." he said quietly as he pulled the blankets back and scooped me up into his arms. He sat down on the bed and cradled me while I cried like a child that was separated from it's parent. Which in a strange way, I was. Kerwin may not have sired me, but with the death of his father, he had because my master, and I had become his child, so in a sense, he was my parent. Strange how that works...

"I apologize." he said softly "I never meant to raise my voice to you." I sniffled and said nothing, too afraid that I would set off his temper again if I said anything.

"I'm not angry with you, Joachim." he said "Belmont said some things that... upset me, and I took it out on you. And no, before you ask, I didn't kill him for it."

I managed a watery chuckled at that. If he could make jokes, he couldn't be too angry. Kerwin was silent for the next few minutes while I calmed down, then he began to speak.

"Belmont informed me of how Walter died." he said quietly "It explains much to me. How much of your nightmare really happened that night?

"Most of it."

"Tell me exactly what you seen, heard, and felt that night."

I told him everything, and I tried to ignore that his face was darkening with anger as I did so. When I finished, he sighed and held me closer in a tight hug for a moment before loosening his grip.

"What do you know of the Crimson Stone, Joachim?"

"A stone made with alchemy that allows it's master to imprisons the souls of other vampires and use their power. It will also turn any human that uses it into a vampire and drive them insane if it doesn't deem them worthy. Why?" I felt a feeling that I was not going to like the answer.

"You were correct about Mathias not being turned the traditional way."

"You mean...?" I felt the blood drain from my face.

Kerwin nodded gravely. "Yes, Mathias Cronqvist is the master of the Crimson Stone. Apparently, once he was turned over, he convinced Walter to take Belmont's betrothed to lure Belmont to the castle. Mathias knew that of all people, Belmont would be most likely to succeed in defeating Walter. Once that was done, Walter's soul was dragged into the Crimson Stone."

"Why did Mathias do all of that?"

Kerwin sighed again. "Belmont told me that Mathias lost his wife a year ago, and that he didn't handle the grief well at all. It gave him an all consuming desire to defy God by living forever. Becoming a vampire was the only way he could do that. I do not know why he saw fit to capture Walter's soul."

I shuddered and laid my head against Kerwin's shoulder. "So how does that explain hearing Walter's voice demanding that I get him out of there?" I had a sick feeling that I knew the answer to my own question.

"Because, since Walter did not actually die, the marriage bond that you two share is still intact. Stretched to near breaking, but still there. I'm sure that it was indeed him that you heard, though I'm certain that once you are stronger you'll be able to block him out. Until then, I'll do my best to help you with it."

I felt my lip quiver; I was going to cry again. I understood then why he hadn't wanted to tell me what was bothering him.

"Child?"

"Can't we get him out?" I asked quietly.

Kerwin gave me an incredulous look. "After all he's done to you? Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I know I loved him once. Because he's your father.” I let out a choked sob. “And because no one deserves an eternity of confinement." Kerwin tightened his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead.

"I understand, child." he said gently "but we cannot help him That would require the destruction of the stone, and I've no idea how that would be possible. Belmont's whip was able to destroy the Ebony Stone, but the Crimson Stone is much more powerful and protected. And going anywhere near Mathias, even if we knew where he had gone, is suicide. He would simply imprison us as well."

I shivered, thinking on the feeling of terror that I had felt through the bond the night Walter had died, and I felt a rush a gratitude for Kerwin's comforting arms around me. The thought of being confined in such a way terrified me more than anything else before.

“Can I stay with you tonight, Kerwin?” I asked meekly, leery of sharing a bed with anyone still, but too frightened to sleep alone. I needed someone to hold onto, to hopefully keep the fear and nightmares away.

“I don’t want to frighten you, child.”

“I just.. don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Alright, just for tonight.”

He stood up from the bed and carried me out of the room and down the hallways to his rooms. He held me with one arm while he pulled the blankets on his bed back and laid me down. He tucked me in then proceeded to get ready for bed himself. He gestured with his hand, and a fire roared to life in the grate, and I was grateful for him for thinking of it. I was beginning to believe that I would never lose my fear of the dark. He left the room briefly - I assume to check on Matatias - before he returned and began to undress. Once he was dressed in his own nightshirt, he laid down next to me and pulled the blankets over himself. He did not reach out to pull me closer, something else that I was grateful for. I knew I was not ready to be held in such a way, even as part of me craved the comfort and assurance the contact would give.

“Joachim,” he said softly “I will have to put you back in your own bed before the servants start coming in and out of here. The two of us sharing a bed, even if you are very ill and we are doing nothing sexual, would create many troubles for both of us, so be prepared to wake up in your own bed.”

I nodded slightly, disappointed, but I understood why. Any hint of homosexuality was strictly forbidden by the church and would cause Kerwin untold trouble if seen. He reached over and brushed my hair out of my face before leaning over and kissing me on the forehead again.

“Get you rest, child.” I shut my eyes and was asleep within minutes.

Sometime during the night, I was awakened by thirst. I looked around and realized that Kerwin had either moved closer to me or I had inched over to him somehow, and that I was snuggled against him. The way he was lying left the left side of his neck exposed to me in easy reach. I was still being fed by Blood Kisses, as Kerwin didn’t think I was strong enough to maintain the firm grip with my mouth that was needed to bite him. I was thirsty and didn‘t want to wake him because I was still wary of his temper, so I opted to test that theory. I reached out and sank my fangs into his neck, hitting the large vein with no trouble. He started, but somehow managed to hold his head and neck perfectly still as I began to suck greedily at his blood. His left arm came around me and pulled me closer.

“Take as much as you need, Joachim.” he mumbled sleepily before dropping off once again. I drank for the next few minutes before my thirst abated and my jaw muscles began to tire. I let go, licking the bite wounds to close them and laid my head down on Kerwin’s arm, feeling elated. I was still unable to sit up or walk, but I could feed myself! To me, that was an important victory. I shut my eyes to go back to sleep, but I felt Kerwin stir next to me. A few seconds later, he sat up, reached under the blankets and slipped the pads under me as I still bled some after feeding. The bleeding was small enough that it was no longer a major concern in my own bed. But if I bled in his, it would hint to the servants that I had slept in his bed, and that we couldn’t have. Once the pads were in place and my gown had been straightened, Kerwin laid back down and gathered me back into the curve of his arm, with my head lying on his shoulder.

“Goodnight, child.” he said quietly before falling asleep. Feeling truly safe for the first time in many years, I smiled and fell asleep as well.

******

I woke up the following afternoon in my own bed, like Kerwin had said I would. The curtains were open, which surprised me, but I soon realized that the sun was safely behind the clouds and rain was pattering against the glass of the windows. I supposed that Kerwin had wanted to show the servants that daylight didn't bother me, so they wouldn't get any ideas in their heads about me being a vampire - even if it was the truth.

I was lying propped up on my pillows since I hated to be left lying flat on my back staring at the ceiling, so I could see the room easily. The fire was going, and the door was open, and I could hear the sounds of the household going through the daily motions. I smiled when I realized that my hearing had improved some. It was still nothing like it should have been, but I could hear at least as well as a human could. I spent a few minutes just listening to the sounds around me: footsteps on the floors, the rain falling against the sides of the house, the hum of voices. After a bit I noticed that one particular set of footsteps was moving faster and was closer than the rest. I focused on those footsteps and tracked them as they came down the hallway towards my door. A few seconds later an auburn haired blur came streaking through the doorway and jumped onto the bed beside me. I felt a wave of dizziness at the sudden movement as a pair of arms latched themselves around my neck and began to squeeze. I reached up to pry them off, but my arms and hands were still too weak. I closed my eyes and began to panic when I couldn't get free of the pressure around my neck and chest, and I tried to squirm away. This caused the grip of whoever had me to only get stronger and tighter, and I cried out for Kerwin to help me. No sooner had I done that then I heard his brisk walk coming down the hallway.

"Matatias!" his firm voice rang into the silence of the room, and the pressure around my neck relented immediately. I gasped for air and opened my eyes to see Matatias sitting on the bed, facing Kerwin, who was standing in the doorway, fists on his hips, looking less than pleased. Matatias got off the bed and stood up as Kerwin walked towards him.

"What did I tell you about your Uncle Joachim?" Kerwin demanded.

"That he was too sick to see me." Matatias said quietly as he shuffled his feet and stared at the floor.

"And?"

"That you would tell me when I could visit him."

"Why then, are you in here?"

"Because Celia wouldn't let me do anything! And I'm tired of looking at books all day! Celia says I'll never be able to read, so why bother with it." Matatias let out a watery sniffle. Kerwin knelt down in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders.

"Matatias," he said gently "I know that you can read a little, child; I have seen you do it."

"But it's so hard..."

"I know, but it will get easier the more you practice. As for what Celia said to you, I will be having a talk with her later."

"Why is she so mean to me, Daddy? I want her to go away."

"I'll talk with her, little one. Now say goodbye to your uncle and apologize for scaring him and go back to your rooms." Matatias nodded and turned back to me. He looked up at me

"I'm sorry, Uncle Joachim." he said quietly "I didn't mean to scare you." I held out my arms in invitation, and he looked back at Kerwin, who nodded, before he climbed up onto the bed into my arms. He laid his head on my chest and grasped a hold of my nightshirt while I wrapped my arms around him and held him.

"I've missed you so much, Matatias." I murmured into his hair "Next time you want to come and see me, no bouncing on the bed alright, and no squeezing, okay?"

He nodded seriously. "Okay."

"Now go do what you were told." I squeezed him lightly and let go. He got down off the bed and went off to his rooms, pausing to have his hair ruffled as he passed Kerwin. Before he could reach the door however, a woman appeared. She was small, with dull brown hair and gray eyes, and I sensed right away that she was a vampire, younger than me, older than Matatias.

"I'm sorry, Kerwin!" she exclaimed in a breathless voice that was obviously faked. Vampires don't need to breathe, so we're only short of breath when we wish to be. "He just snuck away when my back was turned!"

I felt a thread of impatience from Kerwin, and I got the feeling that this was a regular occurrence, making me wonder what her purpose was there, and more importantly, how she came to be there. As far as I know, Kerwin had never sired any children other than Matatias, so I was at a loss to explain where she had come from. Of course, I realized then that he could have sired her during the century that I was locked up, and then I wouldn’t have known about her.

Kerwin said nothing to her words, instead he only gave her a hard look and said simply: “We will talk later.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes before whirling around and walking out of the room. Matatias reluctantly followed her.

After they had gone, Kerwin settled down into the chair next to my bed. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples for a bit, as if trying to massage away a headache.

“Belmont wishes to visit you.” he said quietly.

“Why?” I still hadn’t figured out Leon’s motives for rescuing me, and now he wanted to come and visit?

“Apparently he wishes to see for himself that you are doing better. My assurances aren’t enough, I suppose.”

“When is he coming?”

“I haven’t told him if he may visit or not yet. I wanted to make sure that you were agreeable to it first.”

“I.. I don’t know...” I really had nothing against Leon, especially after he had saved my life, but old habits are very hard to break, and I feared his intentions for visiting. Kerwin seemed to catch my hesitation, for he said:

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Joachim. And I have read his thoughts: he means you no harm and only wishes to see you.”

“If you’re certain, then I guess so...” To be honest, I would have been happy to never see Leon again, but I felt I had to at least thank him. I hoped that he would be happy with that and wouldn't ask for anything more.

Kerwin stood up from his chair and helped my lie down. "I'll inform him later. Right now, I can feel that you're tiring, so you're going to sleep for a while. I'll tell him that he may visit you tomorrow. I will be in later to feed you."

He securely tucked the blankets around me - I was no longer chilled continuously, but I still became so easily - and brushed my hair back before kissing me on the forehead. He then walked out of the room, waving his hand as he went to shut the curtains as the sky had begun to clear and sunlight was starting to show. I shut my eyes and nuzzled under the blankets, as I listened to his heartbeat moving down the hall into another part of the house to where I knew his study to be. Unlike Walter had sometimes done, Kerwin never hid his heartbeat from me. No matter where he was, I could always hear it, which was something that I found very reassuring. I tried to ignore the thought that I had once found the sound of Walter's heartbeat reassuring as well. The sound of the house going about the day, along with the soft murmuring of voices rose up and acted as background to Kerwin's heartbeat, as I dropped off to sleep.

Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4
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