The Price: Rescue Part 1

[eiahmon]

Title: The Price
Rating: R for the mansex even if it's not graphic.
Disclaimer: Disney and Square Enix own it all, though I wouldn't mind “renting” Xehanort for a while. He's just so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute – even when he's summoning his keyblade and yanking out hearts with it.
Summary: Direct sequel/in betweenqel to Despair, which explains what happened between Xehanort throwing himself into the falls and Even seeing Terra in Radiant Garden and what follows.
A/N: A huge thanks to GypsyKate, whose short little ficcy "Under Geas" gave me the idea I needed and got this fic moving again. :)

Part 1

Xehanort closed his eyes and simply leaned forward. After less than a second, he felt gravity exert its pull on his body, and his feet left the ledge. He felt the cold, damp wind on his face, felt himself falling, heard the roaring of the water growing louder and closer.

And then nothing.

******

Terra scrabbled for purchase on the wet rock as he dragged himself up onto a smaller ledge below the one that Xehanort had thrown himself off of just a moment before. He hauled himself away from the edge and the pull of the water and leaned against the back wall while he tried to catch his breath. He was soaked and shivering, and his shoulders ached painfully from where he had reached out at the last second and grabbed the ledge.

During two years of waiting and watching for an opportunity to take back his body, he had never expected that the chance would happen in such a way. He had watched as Braig had taken advantage of Xehanort's naivety and innocence and used him like a toy to be broken and thrown away. He had watched for months, wishing desperately that he could do something, or at least close his eyes and ears, so he wouldn't have to see Braig's face, lustful and grinning as he pounded Xehanort hard, or hear Xehanort's cries as the sharpshooter tore him apart inside.

He had felt Xehanort's relief when Lord Ansem had found them, and he had shared Xehanort's heartbreak when Lord Ansem and the others had rejected him, blamed him, and called him a whore that deserved what had happened to him No one, no one at all, deserved what Xehanort had suffered, and Terra had tried desperately to call out to him, to talk him out of killing them both, as he stood on the ledge, preparing to step off. If Xehanort had heard, he ignored Terra's words, but thankfully, Terra had used his misery and despair to wrench control back just in time to grab the ledge.

Terra leaned back against the rock. He was hidden from anyone that may walk in by a curtain of rising water. Above him was the larger ledge that Xehanort had fallen from, and the two ledges and water formed a small little cave that would suffice until he figured out what to do. He couldn't go back to the castle obviously, even though he really, really wanted to shove his keyblade so far up Braig's ass, one could see the tip of it when the bastard opened his mouth. No, he would have to leave Radiant Garden, but that would require he find a keyblade first. He knew that he did not have his own, but he also knew that Aqua's had been in Xehanort's possession.

So, it seemed he would have to go back to the castle after all. Well first things first.

He raised his hand. "Heal." and he felt the pain in his shoulders as well as the pain in his lower body from the repeated rapes dull and fade. He was still fairly weak; Xehanort had starved himself badly, but it would tide him over until he could get some food.

And a shower.

And some dry clothes.

And a hot cup of coffee.

And, once he was dried off and warmed up, ice cream.

Figuring it was time to get moving, Terra moved to a crouch and pulled Xehanort's heavy lab coat off. He spent a moment looking at the white fabric and remembering how happy Xehanort had been to receive it. It had meant that he had a home and a family, something that he had longed for ever since he had woken up in the castle infirmary. Terra wiped a few tears out of his own eyes and then threw the coat into the water. He knew that the current would eventually pull it into the very vortex that Xehanort had hoped to die in and shred it. He hoped it would be enough to fool everyone into thinking that he was dead. He also pulled off the gray vest, though he simply left it lying on the ledge. He also pulled the boots off, as their heavy weight would make it harder to swim out, though the upward flow of the current would make that a little easier at least. He then reached for the ascot tied around his neck, but then he paused.

Please... please...

Terra cocked his head to the side. "Xehanort?" he asked softly.

There was a soft sob. Please... It hurts so much. Please, stop... no more...

He felt his own heart wrench with pity as he realized that Xehanort was, at least, partially aware within him, and evidently, still in pain. He placed his hand over where Xehanort's heart was resting beside his own, and a wave of grief, misery, and despair washed over him. It was no surprise that Xehanort had chosen to end it rather that keep living. Strangely enough, he couldn't sense or feel Master Xehanort at all. Was the keyblade master gone, leaving Xehanort in control of his heart? Terra had no idea, though he knew someone that might be able to tell him, but first he had to get out of Radiant Garden.

"Xehanort," he said softly, gently, and cries quieted briefly. "It will be alright. Go to sleep, and it will stop hurting soon." The ache under his hand eased, and Xehanort fell silent as his heart went to sleep. It wasn't locked away completely, so he could awake again at any moment, but Terra wasn't worried about that. In his fragile mental state, it was impossible for Xehanort to seize control back, even if the thought crossed his mind, and Terra had a feeling that Xehanort was in too much pain to contemplate it.

Distractions gone for the moment, Terra leapt into the water and swam up with the current to the upper ledge, where he climbed up and walked out of the area, heading back in the direction of the castle. As he walked barefoot down the streets, he took the ascot off, but instead of throwing it away, he stuffed it in a pocket to hold on to. The purple fabric would serve as a reminder to him. Master Xehanort had been a complete monster, and Terra hated him with a burning passion, but Xehanort had been an innocent man caught in a terrible situation, and Terra did not want to forget him.

He reached the castle easily, and he padded inside to Xehanort's rooms. Xehanort didn't have much in the way of casual clothes – on his days off he simply lounged around in his black pants and an untucked shirt with no ascot – but at least what he did have was clean, and after grabbing a change of clothes from the dressier (And barricading the door in case Braig decided to drop in again.) Terra wandered into the bathroom to take a shower. Once he was clean, he dragged a brush through his hair, made a mental note to cut the extra length off as soon as he had a chance, dressed himself, stuffed the ascot in a pocket, slipped on a pair of socks and comfortable shoes that were in Xehanort's closet, and unblocked the door. He poked his head out into the hallway, and seeing no one about, he stepped out and headed towards the kitchens. On the way, he passed Braig's rooms, and he couldn't stop the angry snarl that appeared on his face as he heard the bastard snoring on the other side of his partially open door, like he hadn't a care in the world. Within him, Xehanort whimpered softly before quieting, and Terra mentally added "Get justice for Xehanort." to his To-Do List.

He made it down to the kitchens and quickly made himself a light meal of soup and a sandwich and ate it slowly, so not to make himself sick. He then returned to Xehanort's rooms, where he found Aqua's keyblade and armor in a storage trunk in the back of the closet. Stormfall felt awkward to him; it was meant for a magic user like Aqua, not a tank like him, but it would function just fine until he could reclaim Ends of the Earth. He couldn't do anything with the armor, so he reluctantly left it behind as he used the keyblade to open up passageway into the lanes between. He then changed the keyblade into its glider form and left Radiant Garden without a backward glance.

It was a short trip to the Mysterious Tower, which he was glad for as even that short flight sapped him of what little energy he had. He had to drag himself up the spiral stairs to the top, where he found Master Yen Sid seated behind his desk as usual.

"Terra," the man said evenly, though his eyes belied his true feelings. The man was genuinely happy to see him. "I am relieved to see you again. I see that you have regained control from Master Xehanort."

Terra tried to stand at attention, but his body was shaking from exhaustion and starvation, and Master Yen Sid apparently noticed, for a chair scuttled up from behind him, and he practically fell into it.

"Master Yen Sid," he said after a moment in which he'd had to fight the urge to close his eyes and go to sleep "Can you tell me what happened to Aqua and Ven? I remember that the X-blade was forged, and I think Aqua and Master Xehanort fought, but I don't know what happened after that."

The keyblade master nodded. "I do not know what became of Aqua, though I believe that she lives still." he replied in a monotone "Ventus' heart was badly damaged by the destruction of the X-blade, and his heart fled his body."

"So he's... dead?"

"No, he is not dead, merely comatose until his heart returns. Aqua took him and hid him away before going to confront Master Xehanort. Unfortunately, I do not know where she hid him at."

Terra slumped down in his chair and was silent for a long moment as he processed what he had been told. Tears began to form in his eyes but his blinked them away. Now what was he going to do?

"Terra," Master Yen Sid continued "I see that Master Xehanort's heart is still within you, yet I sense no darkness radiating from it."

"I do not understand it either, Master Yen Sid." Terra shook his head and tried to ignore the wave of dizziness that the motion caused "I think that I began to fight Master Xehanort's control, and he used his keyblade to seal both of our hearts away. I could watch, but do nothing."

"That must have been terrible to be trapped in such a way."

"Master Xehanort was trapped with me," Terra added, and he then went on to explain about Xehanort and how the apprentice had no memories. He also explained how Braig had taken advantage of the foundling and abused him for so long, and how his surrogate family had turned on him and driven him to attempt suicide.

"I was able to seize control back at the last moment and stop him from killing us both," Terra said "so I cleaned up and came here. I can't sense Master Xehanort though, and he quit speaking to me not long after Xehanort woke; I don't know if he's gone or just buried deep."

"I can no longer sense him." Master Yen Sid said quietly "It may be possible that his sense of self was lost when the new Xehanort was born. Tell me, is that Xehanort still within you?"

"He is, and he's in a lot of pain. I could hear him crying not long after I took control back."

Master Yen Sid closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment. "Sadly there is little we can do for him. Right now, Terra, you must rest and heal from the abuse and neglect suffered while Xehanort was in control. We can decide what to do once you are strong again." He pointed to a door off to the right, which unlocked and swung open on quiet hinges. "Through there you will find a place you can rest. Go."

Too tired to argue even if he had wanted to, Terra managed to drag himself out of the chair and through the door that Master Yen Sid had indicated. Inside was a wash basin, which he ignored, and a bed, which he promptly collapsed in after kicking off Xehanort's shoes. Too tired to bother with the blankets, he was asleep within seconds.

******

Please Braig, I don't want this anymore.

I said no: why won't you leave me alone?

Ow, ow ow! Stop! Gods, stop, it hurts!

Please stop! No more, no more! You're hurting me!

Because I'm a whore, and no one will care what happens to me.

******

Terra sat up in bed with a gasp. He could hear Xehanort sobbing quietly, and he wiped the tears away from his own eyes as he thought about the dream that he had just had. There had been no images, just the sound of Xehanort's voice as he cried and pleaded with Braig and the despair as he intoned the sentence that the marksman had rammed into his mind.

Sadly, Braig had been right. Terra gently placed his hand over Xehanort's heart and felt the latter's grief wash over him. No one had cared. No one had stood by Xehanort once the truth had come out. No one had protected him, and they had all stood back and allowed the abuse to continue.

"It will alright, Xehanort." Terra said quietly, and the sobs abated for a moment. "I'll make things right somehow."

I just wanted it to stop. Why... why does it still hurt?

"You need to sleep, Xehanort. It won't hurt while you're asleep."

It will stop hurting?

"It will."

Xehanort fell silent then, and a few seconds later, Terra felt the grief and pain fade as the heart went back to sleep.

Terra held his hand over his heart for a moment. "I promise that I'll make this right, Xehanort. I won't let Braig get away with what he did to you."

******

Terra spent the next few days doing little more than sleeping and eating. He also cut his hair back to how it had been before the possession, and he did spend some time speaking to Master Yen Sid about Xehanort and Master Xehanort. The two of them could not sense the keyblade master, no matter how hard they tried, so they tentatively concluded that the old man was gone. Xehanort was clearly still there, though he had been silent since Terra had last spoken to him. His heart was sleeping, though flickering images from his memories frequently appeared in Terra's dreams.

Master Yen Sid continued to say that little could be done for Xehanort, but when Terra asked what he meant exactly by "little" Master Yen Sid said he had only rumors and conjecture and would say no more on the matter.

Four days after he had arrived, exhausted and weak, at the Mysterious Tower, Terra decided that it was time to start moving again. He couldn't do much, as he had no idea where Aqua was, and while he had a general idea where Ven was, without his heart, nothing could be done for him. So he opted to try and start making good on his promise to Xehanort.

But first he needed to get Ends of the Earth back.

He could vaguely remember Master Xehanort battling his animated armor, though he was at a complete loss as to how that was possible. Even Master Yen Sid was clueless on the matter. He didn't know what it would take to reclaim his keyblade and armor, and it was with more than a little trepidation that he returned to the Keyblade Graveyard, where he found his armor, kneeling in the middle of a large circular plateau, leaning on the keyblade. He held Stormfall out, ready to defend, because he simply had no idea if the armor would attack him or not.

The armor stood as he approached, but it made no move to attack. Instead it only knelt down in front of him and offered Ends of the Earth to him, hilt first. He slowly reached out, and upon grasping the hilt, his armor fell away to land on the ground in a discarded pile. Terra smiled as the warmth blossomed in his heart when he picked up the keyblade that he had first summoned at the age of eleven, and he spent a moment savoring the feeling before a quiet whimper from Xehanort reminded him that he had other things to do. He quickly gathered up his armor and replaced the shoulder piece that allowed him to summon and dismiss it. He checked it a few times to make sure that it was all in place, and then he summoned it, summoned his glider, and returned to the Mysterious Tower.

Master Yen Sid smiled at him approvingly when he walked in with his keyblade and armor, and Terra walked in to his little room and carefully stowed Aqua's keyblade away. As he was doing that, he spotted the strip of purple fabric that was Xehanort's ascot lying on a nearby table. He picked it up and looked at it; it represented so much.

Xehanort laughing as he tried to tie the complicated knot for the first time, and Even fussing over him as he showed him how to do it properly.

Master Ansem proudly straightening the folds of the fabric as Xehanort walked into the labs for the first time. "You're one of us now, Xehanort."

Dilan scolding him teasingly about looking his best as he sat for his portrait, after the painter noted that the ascot's folds were difficult to paint accurately.

Ienzo gleefully using it for a swing, laughing at how his actions nearly sent Xehanort crashing to the floor, even as he laughed along with the boy.

Terra shook his head and carefully tied the fabric around Ends of the Earth's hilt, easily tying the ascot knot that he had watched Xehanort do so many times. It would serve as a reminder to him. Until the promise was kept, he would keep it on his keyblade.

The following day, Terra made the quick flight to Radiant Garden, where he wandered the town and tried to ignore Xehanort's soft cries. He'd noticed that whenever he saw or heard something from Xehanort's life, the latter's heart would wake, and he would cry until he either cried himself back to sleep, or until Terra was able to soothe him. Since stopping in the middle of a crowded street to speak to him wasn't an option, Terra had to try and ignore Xehanort's pain as he walked through town towards the ice cream parlor that Ansem and Ienzo favored.

It was there that he spotted Even and Ienzo, seated on the terrace, enjoying the frozen treat. Or, at least, Ienzo was enjoying it. Even, on the other hand, looked miserable. The blond looked haggard and haunted, and the guilt was plainly visible in his dull green eyes even from the distance away that Terra was standing. Xehanort wailed in pain, and in that instant, Even looked up.

Green eyes met blue, and Terra saw the hope in Even's eyes before it was quashed by the Senior Apprentice's realization that it wasn't Xehanort standing there. Terra smiled gently at him, glad to see that someone was grieving for Xehanort, and then he walked away when Even turned to look at Ienzo.

As he walked through town, Terra came to the sad realization that Even appeared to be the only one that grieved for Xehanort. He heard whispers of his suicide all over town, but the general feeling seemed to be of disdain and good riddance. Xehanort's cries grew louder and more distressed at each whisper, and his pain only increased when Terra spotted Braig outside one of the local pubs, soaking up the sympathy from local women who lamented that "that monster" had gotten away with taking advantage of him so long.

It was that that finally forced Terra to duck into a quiet spot between buildings, and he spent a long moment trying to quiet Xehanort and coax him back to sleep before the sound of Braig's voice coming closer forced him to leave the world altogether.

He made the flight back to the Mysterious Tower deep in thought. Even was grieving for Xehanort and appeared to be feeling guilt for his part in driving him to the point of suicide. Braig was still spreading his lies around town, and Terra knew that he would have to do something about that, force the bastard to confess or something.

By the time he made it back to the Mysterious Tower, Xehanort was sleeping quietly once more, and Terra received a surprise when he walked into Master Yen Sid's study. Inside was not only the retired keyblade master but three human looking fairies, each wearing a different color of clothing, and an elderly wizard that he remembered vaguely from books that he read as a boy.

"Terra," Master Yen Sid said seriously "We may have found a solution for Xehanort's current predicament."

"It is quite simple," the wizard – Merlin, Terra finally remembered "All it takes is a great deal of magic, and we can free Xehanort's heart from your body and give him physical form."

"The poor dear will remember what he suffered however." the blue dressed fairy said "but I'm sure that you'll be there to help him."

Terra nodded, a little stunned.

"Do you wish to do this, Terra?" Master Yen Sid asked levelly "If you do, you must be aware that Xehanort will need much care and attention from you."

"His wounded heart will need time to heal," the green clad fairy said "and he will need your support and protection."

"He will be weak and dependent on you to care for him at first," the red clothed fairy added "but he will grow in strength quickly."

"Do you wish to do this, Terra?" Master Yen Side asked again.

No! Xehanort wailed I don't want it! I want it all to stop! Please don't!

Terra nodded. "Yes, I'll do it."

Xehanort began to sob, and Terra felt a stab of guilt, but he ignored it as Merlin gestured him over to a series of runes and other strange symbols drawn onto the floor beside Master Yen Sid's desk.

"Now lie down." the wizard instructed "This may make you a bit dizzy." Terra gave Merlin a strange look but did as he was told, lying down in the center of the strange symbols. "You might want to close your eyes too."

Terra sighed and closed his eyes, while Xehanort cried in protest over what was about to happen. Around him he heard words being chanted in five voices and felt the tingle of magic over his skin. A few moments later, he began to see light through his eyelids, and even with his eyes closed, it was blindingly bright. Xehanort's cries began to fade as if he was moving away, and Terra felt a pulling sensation in his chest as Xehanort's heart was extracted. The light brightened even more, and then he felt something solid lying on the floor beside him. The light then faded, and he felt movement from whatever it was beside him, heard a sharp intake of breath, and then he heard Xehanort begin to cry.

Terra opened his eyes and sat up to see Xehanort, naked, shivering, and crying, on the floor beside him, and he hastily gathered him to him as Master Yen Sid and the others left the room to give them some privacy. One of the fairies paused long enough to drape a blanket over Xehanort's naked body, and then she too scurried out. Terra awkwardly held Xehanort close to him and tucked the blanket around him as the latter cried.

"It will be alright, Xehanort." Terra said quietly "I'll take care of you." Xehanort simply sobbed and clung to Terra's shirt, and he quickly cried himself to sleep.

Master Yen Sid walked into the room then, and the retired keyblade master easily scooped Xehanort up and carried him into the bedroom, where he laid him down on the bed. He then waved his long fingers over him in a complicated gesture, and Xehanort's still form was surrounded by a white glow for a brief moment before it faded.

"What was that?" Terra asked.

"A spell," Master Yen Side said heavily without taking his eyes off of Xehanort "to prevent him from harming himself." The master turned to him then. "Are you sure that you want to do this, Terra? You have seen what he is like. Are you certain that you can care for him?"

"I have to, Master Yen Sid. I'm all that he has left. I won't let Braig hurt him again."

Master Yen Sid nodded his head. "Very well then." and then he walked out of the room. The three fairies then came in, and the three of them conjured a simple white calf length nightshirt and socks for Xehanort to wear (though they bickered a great deal over the color before Terra reminded them that they were going to wake Xehanort up if they didn't knock it off.), and Terra then carefully dressed him and tucked him into bed.

Xehanort whimpered softly as he settled down, and Terra sat down beside him, doing what Master Eraqus had done for him so many times whenever he had been upset, frightened, or ill as a child.

"I won't let Braig hurt you again, Xehanort." he said quietly "I'll get him to admit to what he did to you somehow."

******

A week later, Terra opened the door to the bedroom that he and Xehanort had been given by Master Yen Sid to use and walked in to see Xehanort sitting silently on the edge of his bed, just as he had been when Terra had left the room a few minutes before.

Xehanort had become a living doll. He wouldn't move, talk, walk, feed himself, or do anything without being prompted by Terra first. After his bout of crying when he had been brought out, he had remained mostly silent, though he cried in his sleep from time to time. Terra had to spoon feed him, dress him, bathe him, carry him to the bathroom, and tuck him into bed at night, and then get him up in the morning, otherwise, he would have just laid there, lifeless. There was no light in his eyes, and his face was completely blank. Master Yen Sid assured him that Xehanort's near catatonic state was due to trauma, and that, once he felt he was safe, he would come out of it, but Terra had his doubts.

He sat down in the chair that he had drawn up to the bed earlier and set the bowl of oatmeal that he had brought down on the nightstand. He then tucked a napkin into the collar of Xehanort's nightshirt, like a bib, and picked up the oatmeal.

"Are you hungry, Xehanort?" he asked, but of course, as usual, the white haired man gave no indication that he had heard. With a quiet sigh, he spooned up the oatmeal and held the spoon to Xehanort's mouth. "Open up." There was a long pause, and then Xehanort slowly parted his lips just enough for Terra to get the spoon in and dump the warm oatmeal in his mouth, and he reflexively swallowed. Some of it dribbled out onto the bib, but Terra ignored it and brought up the next spoonful. Xehanort sat still and silent and allowed Terra to spoon feed him, and once the bowl was empty, Terra sat it aside and wiped the split oatmeal off of Xehanort's face.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" He had already taken him earlier before he had gone to get the oatmeal, but he asked anyway. If he did not take him, Xehanort would simply let go wherever he was. Of course, he did not answer or respond to Terra's question. "Are you ever going to speak to me, Xehanort?" Again, as usual, there was no response, and Terra sighed and began to get him ready for the day.

They night after Xehanort had been brought out, Terra had gone back to Radiant Garden and raided his room for clothing for him to wear, and he had nearly given himself away when he heard Braig bitching to himself about not having Xehanort around to play with anymore. It had taken every ounce of strength that he possessed not to go murder the bastard where he stood.

Terra shook his head as he stripped Xehanort out of his nightshirt and dressed him in a shirt and a pair of pants that he had taken from Radiant Garden. He then slipped shoes and socks onto his feet and combed his hair before scooping him up into his arms and carrying him from the room. He carried him through the study and down the spiral stairs to the front door. Once out in the still air outside the tower, he set Xehanort down on his feet in the grass and put one arm around his shoulders in support.

"Can you walk for me?" Terra asked as he gently pushed Xehanort forward, while keeping his other arm out in case the latter fell. After a moment, Xehanort took a shuffling step forward, followed by another, and Terra kept an arm around him as he slowly walked him around the courtyard. "That's very good, Xehanort; let's keep walking."

Xehanort remained impassive and silent as they walked around, but then he suddenly stopped with a frightened whimper. Terra looked at him in confusion, but then he felt it: the feeling of wrongness that accompanied the Heartless. A second later, he heard the sound of them portaling in, and he pushed Xehanort down onto the ground by the base of the tower wall and stood in front of him. Ends of the Earth appeared in his hand, and he turned the face the Heartless as they rushed him. The moderate sized group of Neoshadows would normally not be a problem for him, but he had to stay in front of Xehanort and stop them from going around and getting to him, which made things much more difficult.

So absorbed in taking them down, he failed to notice that they were slowly leading him away from the castle wall, away from Xehanort, and it wasn't until he heard a terrified scream behind him that he realized his mistake. He spun around in time to see one of them push Xehanort down onto his back and climb up onto his chest, where it dug its claws in, searching for his heart. Xehanort screamed in pain and fear as Terra charged the Heartless, and a ball of fire from his keyblade knocked it away. Xehanort went limp on the grass, gasping, his eyes wide, and Terra felt a moment's relief that he still had his heart as he destroyed the last of the Heartless.

Xehanort reached out to him, crying, and Terra was thrilled to see such behavior, even as he cast a Curaga over him to heal the cuts and scratches from the Heartless that had attacked him.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he gathered Xehanort into his arms and tried to ignore the acrid stink of urine from where Xehanort had wet himself in terror. Xehanort didn't answer, instead he only cried as Terra stood up and carried him inside and up the stairs.

Later, while he was tucking him into bed for a nap after a bath and a change of clothes, Terra noted that while he had gone silent, there was light in Xehanort's eyes again. It was the light of lingering fear, but it was something other than complete lack of emotion that he had been showing before, so it was a welcome change. He smoothed Xehanort's hair down and went to stand up, but a hand suddenly shot out from under the blankets and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Don't go." Xehanort said weakly as he slowly turned his head to look up at him "Please don't leave me alone."

Terra smiled gently at him as sat back down on the bed. "I won't leave you, Xehanort." he said as he took the other's hand and squeezed it gently "I'll stay right here with you."

Xehanort managed a feeble smile. "Who are you?"

"You don't remember me?"

"No," Xehanort lowered his gaze, looking sad "I don't remember anything before Master Ansem found me."

"You don't remember me at all?"

"No. Should I? Are you part of my family? Are we related? You do look very similar to me."

Terra couldn't miss the desperate longing in Xehanort's voice, nor could he miss the conclusion that Xehanort did not remember being trapped while Terra was in control. Seeing the white haired man looking at him, brown eyes filled with hope, he realized that he couldn't crush that, no matter how much he would have to lie.

"Yes," he said after a moment, and Xehanort's face lit up with a dazzling smile "We're brothers, and I've been looking for you for nearly three years."

Xehanort actually giggled then. "Brothers? Who's older then? Where are our parents? What is our home world?"

Terra laughed at the barrage of questions – it gave him time to make up some answers. "Slow down, slow down. You're older, but only by a few minutes. We're twins. We were living in the Land of Departure with Master Eraqus, Aqua, and Ventus, though we aren't from there. When we were very small, Master Eraqus found us abandoned on the streets of our homeworld and took us in. We were young enough that neither of us could remember our parents. We snuck out once to try and find them, but all we found was a heap of trouble, so we never went back."

He could see Xehanort eagerly soaking up his words. "Then what happened? Why did we get separated?"

Terra closed his eyes for a moment -

I just... wanted to keep Ven safe.

- and when he opened them, Xehanort was looking at him intently, with worry creeping into his expression. "Master Eraqus knew someone that had gone dark and evil." Your past incarnation, he thought but didn't say. "He killed Master Eraqus and then destroyed the world. The four of us were separated and scattered to other worlds, and I've been looking for you ever since."

"Why?" Xehanort licked his lips, looking vaguely ill. "Why did he do that?"

"I don't know. I didn't see him when I was looking for you, so Master Yen Sid and I think that he's gone."

"What about Ventus and Aqua?"

"I haven't found them yet."

"How..." Xehanort hesitated for a second. "How did you find me?"

Terra smiled gently at him. "I arrived in Radiant Garden and heard people talking about you, but when I asked, no one had anything good to say."

"So you know about... about..." He gestured helplessly for a moment and then continued in a very small voice. "about me being Braig's whore?"

Terra sat him up and wrapped his arms around him. "I know what I was told, but I won't know anything until you tell me, and for the record, I don't believe that you could be anything of the sort." Because I watched the entire thing, and it was rape, plain and simple. "I found you as you were walking through town, and I caught you as you were falling into the Rising Falls. You passed out in my arms, so I brought you here to rest and heal."

Xehanort looked down at the floor then, and the shame was clearly written across his face. Terra placed two fingers under his chin and gently raised his head up until their eyes met. "Want to tell me what happened?" He knew, of course, but Xehanort didn't know that, so he had to play the part and ask. Xehanort turned away and was silent for a long moment. "Xehanort?"

Xehanort began to tremble, and Terra heard a quiet sob. "I.. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because if I do, you won't want me anymore."

"Whatever happened to you, Xehanort, I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to reject you. You are my brother, and I've been searching for you for too long to throw you away. Now tell me what happened."

Xehanort shivered, turned back to face him, and leaned into his embrace, and Terra knew that he was reaching out for one last bit of comfort before he was rejected. "What happened, Xehanort?"

"Did... did we know someone named Braig?" Xehanort asked quietly.

Terra nodded. "Not very well. He worked with the man that destroyed the Land of Departure. Why?"

"Because he said he knew me, and that he would tell me about my past if I paid the price."

"Which was?"

"To let him... have sex with me." Xehanort began to cry, so Terra pulled him closer, and Xehanort spilled out everything then: the small snippets of information, Braig's frequent visits to his room, his refusals that were ignored, being caught, being blamed for it all, Master Ansem's rejection, the shunning from the other apprentices, the hostility of the townspeople, and finally Master Ansem's angry insistence that it was all his fault and that he had brought it on himself.

"I just wanted it to stop hurting." Xehanort sobbed as Terra gently rocked him and rubbed his back "No one cared about me anymore, and Braig wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted it to all go away." Xehanort dissolved into fresh tears, and Terra awkwardly pulled him onto his lap and cradled him. Xehanort curled close to him and cried while Terra tried to soothe him, and it wasn't until several minutes later that he began to quiet. He mopped his face with the sleeve of his nightshirt while Terra sat him back down on the bed.

"When Braig told you what the price was," he asked as Xehanort leaned against him "did you understand what he meant? Did you know what he was asking of you?"

It was the one thing that had frustrated Terra to no end during the months of abuse. Xehanort had no memories to draw upon, none at all, which left him very naïve and innocent in regards to many things. He knew what sex was, as well as the mechanics of it, but in the same manner a child would know about it. He really had not understood what Braig had asked of him, not until it was too late. No one else had realized that fact, that Xehanort was a child in many ways. Asking a child if they want to have sex may get an affirmative answer, but that doesn't make it right or mean that the child is to blame.

Xehanort shook his head slightly. "No, not really. I knew what he was asking, but I didn't know exactly what he was going to do to me until..." He trailed off with a shudder and looked up at Terra. "Is it my fault? Are you angry with me?"

"No, I'm not angry with you, and no, it's not your fault. Braig should have never asked you that. You didn't understand what he was asking of you, and he probably knew that, which means he was taking advantage of you. The others should have protected you once they realized what was happening, and they failed you there. They should have stopped the abuse, not allowed it to continue." Xehanort's face crumpled as he began to cry again, this time in relief, and Terra coaxed him into lying down with his head on his lap, and he soothingly stroked the white hair as Xehanort cried. "I still love you, Xehanort, and I will never allow that monster to touch you again. If I ever see him again, he will regret every time he laid his hands on you."

Xehanort cried himself to sleep on Terra's lap, and Terra carefully, so not to wake him up, laid him down and covered him with the blankets. He then quietly stepped out of the room into the study, where he found Master Yen Sid at his desk.

"I see that he has come around." the elderly keyblade master said, and Terra nodded as he sat down in his usual chair in front of the desk.

"A Heartless attack brought him out of it." Terra raked his fingers back through his hair. "He can't remember me, Master Yen Sid. He doesn't remember the time he spent with me in control, but he noticed how alike we look, so I made up a story about us being twins. I couldn't tell him the truth, not after everything that he's been through."

Master Yen Sid nodded in agreement. "Perhaps that is best. The support of a loving family is always important when recovering from trauma."

Terra nodded. "I need to find a way to get Braig to admit what he did. I can't let him get away with it. He tortured Xehanort for months, and no one batted an eye at him once they were found out."

"I am certain that you will think of something." Master Yen Sid changed the subject then, though Terra's thoughts kept drifting back towards the person sleeping in the bedroom nearby.

That night, as he laid in his own bed and tried to sleep, he heard Xehanort stir and then get up. A second later, Terra felt his weight settle down on the bed beside him, and he opened his eyes to see Xehanort lying next to him, eyes alight with curiosity.

"Tell me more." the latter whispered "I want to know all about us, about Master Eraqus, Ventus, and Aqua. Please tell me."

Terra smiled faintly. "Just after Ventus came to live with us, the four of us invented a board game. We just called it the Command Board, because we used cards with attacks we had learned written on them for game pieces. We played it so much that Master Eraqus had to forbid us from playing for a while because we were neglecting chores and training to play." Xehanort laughed quietly, and Terra continued. "We finally convinced him to try it one night, and he proceeded to slaughter all of us." Xehanort laughed again, and Terra felt his own heart gladden to see him doing something other than crying. "Master Eraqus told us once that the four of us could take the simplest task and make it as complex as possible, just to see if we could. Our preferred method of watering the garden consisted of Aqua summoning a ball of water, and then you and I would launch Ven into the air, so he could hit it with his keyblade, which caused it to break apart and rain down on the garden."

Xehanort nestled close and tucked his head under Terra's chin, while Terra continued to tell stories, inserting Xehanort into them when needed. Xehanort smiled and laughed more in those few hours than he had in months, and eventually he fell asleep in Terra's arms, still wearing a slight smile on his face.

-- Part 2
Back to the Main Archive