I wish lj had bigger post size limits...

[eiahmon]

Title: Heart to Heart
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Disney and Square own it all; I only wish I did. Why in the hell cant I come up with these wickedly cool characters and twisted plots? Why?
Summary: Sequel to Burning Heart and Earth's Rebirth. A special assignment from Ansem sets Dilan's conscience on edge, and he reaches out to the only person that he knows can help, the one person that he though he would never speak to again; Xehanort.

13.5

He had never expected to be back in this room.

Xavier sat on the edge of the massive desk and looked around the familiar room. It was a little more cluttered than he remembered, and the jar of hearts that used to sit on the desk was long gone, but other than that, the room was the same as it had been when he had last seen it years ago. To his surprise, his portrait was even still on the wall. He would have thought that Ansem would have burned that thing at the first opportunity.

Footsteps approaching the door from the hallway broke him out of his thoughts, and he moved from the desk to stand by the door to the lab, where he wouldn't be seen immediately by someone coming into the room. This would only work if he could get Ansem alone for a while. Now he just had to hope that it was Ansem opening the door and walking in.

Xavier released the breath that he had been holding when his former adopted father walked into the study, staring intently at some papers he had in his hands. He didn't shut the door behind him as he walked towards the desk, and Xavier was able to see that the man's face was thin and drawn, like he hadn't slept or ate in days. Well, he could worry about that later; he had something far more important to attend to.

With a wave of his keyblade, the office door slammed shut, and the clicking of the lock sounded loudly in the room. Ansem spun around in surprise to face the door, and then he spotted Xavier leaning casually against one of the bookshelves that lined the walls. The old man's face darkened with rage as Xavier pushed away from the shelf.

"Xehanort!" he snarled. "What are you doing here! You have quite the nerve coming here after everything you've done!"

Xavier didn't bother to correct him on the name; being called Xehanort didn't bother him anymore. "I could say the same of you." he said evenly.

The papers in Ansem's hand were crushed as he clenched them in his fist. "How dare you! I never did anything against you! I adopted you, gave you my name, made you my heir, and you rewarded me by destroying my world and throwing me into the Realm of Darkness!"

Xavier didn't bother to raise his voice. "No, you just allowed your thirst for vengeance to consume you to the point that you thought nothing of inflicting my punishment on an innocent child that had done nothing wrong but be caught in a misfired spell." There were the heart experiments, but Xavier really didn't count those. Master Xehanort would have come back regardless.

"I did nothing of the sort!"

"So when your guards brought you a younger version of myself that they had found wandering the dungeon in a daze after the casting of Master Yen Sid's spell, you didn't throw him into a prison and announce to everyone that he was responsible for the worlds' destruction?"

Ansem's eyes widened, and though his mouth moved, no sound came out for a few seconds. "How do you know that?" he asked once he had recovered his voice.

"Simple, he told me. I found out about him about a month after he appeared here, and yes, Dilan and Even had a hand in helping me get him out of there. I smuggled him out and took him in, so he'd be safe and cared for." Ansem said nothing in response, and Xavier repressed a growl. "Aren't you going to say anything? You are responsible for what happened, yet you won't say anything about it?" Ansem still kept silent, and Xavier exploded. "He was just a boy, Master Ansem! A boy! An innocent child that you had locked up and tortured! How could you do such a thing!"

Ansem found his voice then. "It was just a Replica that someone created!" he snapped. "A Replica of you that deserved everything he got!"

Xavier growled and took a step forward, which prompted Ansem to step back. "No, he was not, and even if he was, he was still a child! No child deserves such pain! Hasn't living around Vexen taught you anything!"

Ansem flinched slightly at Vexen's name, but he carried on anyway. "And how many children did you harm, Xehanort? How many innocents did you drag down into the cells below this castle?" Ansem's voice rose again, becoming a yell once more. "How many died in your quest for answers! How many were lost when you gave into your darkness and destroyed this world!"

"Darkness that was there because you and others put it there."

"Excuse me?"

"He wasn't a Replica. Somehow the spell cast by Master Yen Sid and Merlin summoned my teenaged self forward in time from the Destiny Islands."

"That's impossible!"

"Apparently not. The darkness that would later consume me was there because you tossed me – a thirteen year old boy – into a prison cell and allowed others to do whatever they wanted to me. My future self rescued me and cared for me until Master Yen Sid and Merlin could reverse the spell and send me home."

"So I am at fault for the monster you became? Is that what you're saying?"

Xavier sighed and looked down at the floor. "No, losing control of the darkness within me was no one's fault but my own. I was a fool to think that I could control it so easily, and I can blame no one else for that. On the other hand, the darkness would not have been there to begin with if it hadn't been for your actions. I may have never left the Destiny Islands if I hadn't been taken offworld as a child. You are responsible for that, you and the ones who cast the damned spell to begin with!"

"Is this why you came here, Xehanort? To accuse me and try and shove some of the blame off onto me?"

Xavier leaned back against the bookshelf as the ache in his heart returned with a vengeance. "No," he said quietly. "I'm furious at you for what you did to Xehanort, but that's not why I came here tonight."

Ansem tossed the crumpled papers to the desk. "Then why?"

"I came..." Because I miss you, because I still love you and consider you to be my father, even with Jascha in my life, even after what you allowed to be done to me when I was a child, because it hurts to think that you hate me. "Because I needed to say something to you."

"Then say it and get out, before I summon the guards."

Xavier flinched at the loathing in Ansem's voice. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "For everything that happened."

"You're sorry?" Ansem said mockingly. "You're sorry? Do you think that a mere apology can make up for everything you did? You destroyed the world, Xehanort! There is no apology that will be good enough for that."

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" Xavier protested as tears began to burn in his eyes. "I just wanted to know who I was! I didn't want anyone to get hurt!"

"Well, people were hurt, thousands of people! Now take your apologies and get off of my world! I never want to see you again!"

Xavier felt his heart break at the angry rejection. He had expected such a reaction, but still hearing it... He began to shuffle towards the door, crying softly as he went. What had he been expecting? Ansem Hart had every reason to hate him and none to forgive him.

He tapped the doorknob with his keyblade to unlock it, aware of Ansem's eyes boring into the back of his head the entire time. He dismissed the weapon and put his hand on the knob.

"I'm sorry, Papa." he whispered one last time before he opened the door. He had barely started to walk out of the study however, when Ansem spoke up from behind him.

"Papa? You stopped calling me that a few months after we started working on your heart."

Xavier nodded; he remember that. It was right after Master Xehanort had started to regain control.

Ansem continued. "You started calling me that not long after I adopted you. You loved to say it, and yet it stopped suddenly with no explanation. It was a warning sign that we were on dangerous ground, and yet I ignored it."

"It wouldn't have done any good at that point." Xavier said hoarsely. "Master Xehanort was already waking up."

"Perhaps," Ansem paused, and Xavier started to walk through the door again. "Xehanort, wait." Xavier looked over his shoulder to see Ansem looking at him with an unreadable expression. "Shut the door, Xehanort, and come here."

Xavier wiped his tears off on the sleeve of his coat and shut the door. He then walked back to the center of the study, where Ansem was standing. A hand gently tilted his head up to look the man in the eye.

"Are you truly sorry, Xehanort?" Ansem asked quietly, and Xavier nodded and wiped at his eyes again.

"I never wanted things to go so wrong." he whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Ansem produced a handkerchief from somewhere and handed it to him. "Here, dry your eyes. The saltwater isn't good for the books."

Xavier managed a watery laugh as he wiped his tears away. "You said that to me once before."

"Yes, I found you crying in the library late one night, because you were upset after being told that your memory likely wasn't going to return."

"That was when you offered to adopt me."

"And you practically leapt into my arms in your excitement." Ansem smiled faintly. "I took that as your agreement."

Xavier laughed again. "You gave me everything I could have wanted: a home, a family, a place to belong."

"Xehanort Hart, still has the same ring to it now as it did then." Ansem smiled sadly. "I should have been paying better attention. You were my son, my only child, and yet I ignored all the warning signs that we were playing with something that was best left alone. Even when your personality changed and you stopped calling me Papa, I just brushed it all aside."

"It wouldn't have changed anything, I still would have lost control to Master Xehanort."

"Maybe, or maybe we could have delayed him, or found a way to destroy him altogether, like you did in the Keyblade Graveyard."

Xavier looked up at him in shock. "How did you know about that?"

Ansem gave him a wry smile. "I have been... informed multiple times about your work to prevent such destruction again, by many people, people that have every right to distrust you. Do the names Master Terra and Master Aqua mean anything to you?" Xavier felt his jaw drop, and Ansem chuckled quietly. "Roxas has been quite vocal as well, though Sora and Riku have expressed disbelief with that. Naminé has also been quite insistent that you mean no harm to anyone any longer. Finding out that Even was in contact with you the entire time was another clue, as was your assisting in Isa's breakout. Roxas informed me of that one." Ansem sighed in defeat. "I know about the possession, about Braig's role in everything, about Master Xehanort. I know that you had to shear your heart in two to destroy him. I know everything."

"Then why...?"

"Why did I continue to lead the hunt for you? Why did I continue to hate you so strongly?"

Xavier looked down at the floor. "Yes, why?"

"I was torn, Xehanort. No parent wants to know that their child has become a monster hellbent on destroying the universe. No father wants to put out a death order on his only son, but, like it or not, you are responsible for the destruction of so many lives. I couldn't let you walk away from that."

Xavier closed his eyes as tears dripped to the floor. "I understand." he whispered.

"And hating you was the only way for me to hide the fact that I still love you so much."

Xavier felt his heart skip as he looked up. "What?"

"Despite everything, despite the world's destruction, despite throwing me into the Realm of Darkness, you are still my son, and I still love you. I had planned to give you a quick death if you were caught. No prison time, no torture, just an immediate execution. You had to be stopped, but even with everything that you had done, I couldn't bear the thought of you in pain, so I wanted to end it quickly.

"I honestly believed that the child was a Replica of you, and I sent him to the prison, intending for him to be executed quickly. I announced that he was you and that he had used magic to disguise himself as a child to escape detection. I never intended for him to be locked up and abused, Xehanort. That had never been what I wanted to happen."

"But as you said earlier, it did happen, and you can never make up for it. He was just a boy, and you sent him there to die. Why?"

"Because I wanted to believe that somewhere within you was the son I loved and that everyone was telling me the truth. The only way that could happen is if you were allowed to live your life without the constant fear of being caught. The child would be executed, everyone would believe you had died, and the search would end, allowing you to go about your life. If it meant sacrificing what I believed to be a Replica, then so be it." Ansem reached up and gently wiped a tear off of Xavier's face. "I see now that they had been speaking the truth."

"I want to come home." Xavier whispered, which surprised him even as he spoke the words. "But after everything that's happened... I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what happened to me when I was a boy."

"And I will always carry the regret and the guilt for my part in your eventual downfall." Ansem lightly squeezed Xavier's shoulder. "I wish you could come home too, but it will never be safe for you here. Everyone knows what you did, and many would kill you on sight if given the chance."

"I can protect myself." Xavier said quietly, and he closed his eyes and bowed his head again as he felt Ansem run his hand down his hair.

"I know you can," Ansem said gently. "But you would have to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, and one lapse on your part is all that it would take. And of course, many here are angry at you and would never accept having you back. Even if you manage to forgive me, you can never come home, Xehanort."

"I miss you. I miss what we once had."

"And I miss you. I miss having a son. I miss our long talks about things going on in the world, about our latest work in the labs. I miss your lessons."

Xavier managed a smile. "Where you taught me the ins and outs of ruling a world."

"You were a quick study; it made me so proud to have such an intelligent son." Ansem stepped away then, which prompted Xavier to look up. Ansem stepped around the desk, opened one of the myriad drawers, and pulled a small box out of one of them. Xavier's breath caught in his throat; he recognized that box. Ansem took the lid off of the box and held the box out for Xavier to take.

"Take it, Xehanort." he said. "It is yours."

Xavier found himself scarcely able to breathe as he looked at the gold accented platinum ring with the Hart family crest. It was the heir's ring, worn by the heir to Radiant Garden's throne. At once time he had proudly worn it on his right hand, taking it off only to work in the labs. He had worn it everywhere else, even while bathing and sleeping.

"I can't, Master Ansem." he gasped after a moment. "I can't! I don't deserve -!"

"You can, and you will." Ansem said firmly. "It is yours. You are the heir to Radiant Garden still. I never disowned you or nullified the adoption. You may never be able to return, but if you ever have a child of your own, having this ring will allow them to claim the throne, even if I am long gone, even if a Regent is in control. I will announce that I have an heir, and that when that heir appears, they will bear the ring as proof." He took Xavier's hand, set the box in his palm, and then closed his fingers over it. "One day, the Harts will return to Radiant Garden."

Xavier lowered his head as he began to cry, and he felt Ansem's arms come around him and hold him close. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry, I don't deserve this. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shhhhh, don't apologize, Xehanort. I am just as much at fault as you are, perhaps more so. I am the one that helped plant the darkness in your heart to begin with. I am the one that caused you to be hurt when you were young."

"Papa..." Xavier squeezed his eyes shut, as though it could hold back the storm of emotions raging within him. He should hate the man that was holding him, he should make him pay for the pain he had caused to an innocent child, but... he just couldn't. He couldn't do it. He couldn't remember first hand what Xehanort had suffered, but he could remember the happy times he'd had in Radiant Garden as a part of Ansem's family like they'd happened yesterday. The feelings of being lost, alone, and frightened, in a strange place, with people that he did not know, with no memories to draw on were replaced with a feeling of having a safe place to call home, of having friends that cared about him, of having a father that loved him. Then came the terror of losing it all, of watching helplessly as it was destroyed in front of him, knowing that that loving father now hated him.

And it was all right here in front of him again.

He was faintly aware of Ansem humming quietly as he cried in the man's arms, and the sound brought back a rush of memories: of lying helpless in the infirmary and hearing that soothing sound from the chair by his bed, of lying in bed, terrified that he would never remember who he was, and Ansem beside him, humming softly as he soothed his newest apprentice to sleep, of crying in relief that he had a family and a home, that he belonged to someone, and again, Ansem – Papa - humming quietly as he rocked his new son in his arms and assured him that he would always have a place to call home in Radiant Garden.

Even if he no longer deserved it.

"You will always be my son," Ansem murmured. "You will always be Xehanort Hart. Nothing is going to change that. You may hate me for what I've done, but you will always be mine."

Xehanort Hart, that is who you are.

Voices from the corridor echoed down through the closed study door, and Xavier forced himself to step away from that loved embrace. He scrubbed at his eyes with the handkerchief that he was still holding in his left hand.

"You must go." Ansem said quietly. "It wouldn't be safe for you to be seen here."

Xavier nodded. "I love you, Papa."

"Do you have a family where you are living now?"

"I do."

"Does that include a father figure?"

Xavier nodded faintly. "Yes," he said quietly.

"Then love him. Love him as a son should. Love him as you once loved me. He won't be around forever, and I don't want you feeling guilt or regret after he is gone." Ansem gently swept Xavier's sweaty hair out of his tear stained face. "Don't ever come back here, Xehanort. I will announce that you died tomorrow, which should effectively kill the search for you, but if you're seen here, things will start right back up again." Xavier nodded sadly in understanding, and Ansem continued. "Tell the others..." He sighed. "Tell them that I'm sorry and that they're welcome to come back if they want, even though I know that they probably won't, especially Even and Vexen."

"I will tell them." Xavier whispered. "Though I know Even never intends to come back here."

"I can't say that I blame him." Ansem said with a sigh. "By chance.. do you know where Isa Qamar is?"

"I do."

"Is he well?"

"Well as he can get. He nearly died of respiratory failure, and he'll always be susceptible to future infections."

"Please convey my apologies to him as well. I was angry and needed someone to take it out on, and he was seen as an acceptable target by many."

"I will tell him."

The voices drew closer, accompanied by the sounds of multiple sets of footsteps.

Ansem enfolded Xavier in one last hug and then gently pushed him away. "Go, Xehanort. Go home, love your family, find yourself that special someone, and give me and your new parents some grandchildren. Live your life and be happy. "

Xavier managed a watery smile as he opened a portal where he stood. He kept his eyes on Ansem, watching the tears running freely from the man's orange eyes as darkness enveloped him and the portal closed.

******

He stepped out of the portal aside the barn back on Haven's Bridge. It was dark, with the sun only a rapidly fading brush of light across the western horizon, and the crickets were chirping. A faint breeze carried the scents of the corn seedlings in the fields, and he could hear the horses whinnying to each other in the pasture. Lights were on the farmhouse, but he didn't want to go in just yet. Carefully putting the ring in its box in his pocket along with the Wayfinder and the letter from his mother, he turned and walked towards the barn.

Inside he found Hannah in her stall, and she whickered in greeting when she saw him. He walked up to stand in front of the stall door, and she reached out and nibbled lightly on his hair, which caused him to smile faintly at her and run his hand down her neck.

"Some things change, but you'll always be the same, won't you girl?" he murmured in the darkened interior of the barn, and she responded by tossing her head and snorting at him. He laughed quietly and scratched her head right between her eyes. He then dropped his arm and leaned on the stall door.

"How am I supposed to feel?" he asked after a few moments. "I walked in there fully prepared to hate him for what he did to my younger self, but I just couldn't do it. I never realized how much I missed having him as a part of my life until I saw him there, and to find out the hate was just a way for him to hide his own feelings?" He sighed and slumped against the wood under his arms. "I don't know what to do. All of this: letting Xehanort go, meeting my mother again, finding the letter from her and the Wayfinder, and then finding out that Ansem still loves me despite everything I've done?" He sighed. "What am I supposed to do now?" He lowered his head and rested it on his folded arms, and a second later, he heard Hannah snort again and felt her lip at his hair.

"Xavier?" came Jascha's voice, and Xavier raised his head to see him standing in the doorway looking at him.

Love him as you once loved me.

He patted Hannah on the nose, and then turned and walked towards his other father.

"Xavier?" Jascha said again, but instead of answering, Xavier only walked up to him and leaned against him. Jascha responded by embracing him. "Are you alright, Xavier? What happened?"

Xavier only shook his head as he felt the sting of tears again. He didn't know if he could voice what had happened without falling apart.

"Talk to me, son. Tell me what happened." A hand rubbed his back, and Xavier sighed in defeat.

"I went back with Xehanort, and I think I met my mother in the past." he whispered.

"Your mother? Your birth mother?"

"Yes, I can't remember though. I went back to the Destiny Islands, hoping to remember, and I found a letter that she left for me. She told me that she had known something was haunting me and that I needed to sort it out."

"Your mother here told you the same thing, didn't she?"

"She did, so I went to see Ansem."

"You went back to Radiant Garden? Oh Xavier, that's so dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I had to! I couldn't keep going knowing that he hated me! I wanted to see him again! I wanted to tell him I'm sorry!"

Without letting go, Jascha walked him into the barn and over to a stack of hay bales, where they sat down. "What happened?"

"He doesn't hate me." Xavier said through his tears. "He said that I deserved to be punished for what I did, but that he still loved me. He wanted to give me a quick death if I was caught without any prison time or torture. He thought Xehanort was a Replica and was intending for him to die in my name, so the search for me would end. He didn't intend for others to abuse the boy.

"I should be furious at him for what he caused Xehanort to suffer, but I couldn't stay angry at him. I can't remember the time I spent in the prison, and all I could think of was the good times we had before everything fell apart. I want to go home, but between the people there that hate me and what he did to Xehanort, I can't. I just can't, but I still love him, but I love you and Mama and everyone here too, and I just don't know what I should do or how I should feel about all of this."

"Did he say anything else to you?"

Xavier swallowed a lump in his throat. "He said I could never come back to Radiant Garden because it could start the search up again if I were to be seen. He also said that I should love you like I once loved him."

He felt Jascha's arms tighten around him for a moment. "I can't tell you how you should feel, Xavier. All I can say is that I love you as though I had fathered you myself. I know you're closer to your mother because she was the one that cared for you after you were found, but that doesn't change the fact that you are my son. It was my idea to keep you when we realized that you had no one else to turn to." Xavier started in surprise; he hadn't know that. "I'm glad that Ansem was there when you needed him, and I'm happy to hear that he still loves you as a father should, but he is right. You can never go back to your old life on Radiant Garden, so you have to choose. You can spend the rest of your life pining for something that can no longer be, or you can move on, let Ansem and Radiant Garden go, and be happy with the family, home, and life that's right here in front of you. Whatever you do, it won't change how I feel about you. You are my son, no matter what happens, and I will never stop loving you."

Xavier closed his eyes and nestled deeper into Jascha's arms. "I love you, Dad." he said quietly.

He felt Jascha startle. "You've never called me that before." the older man said."Lingering feelings for Ansem?"

"I think so." Xavier replied softly. "But you're right, I have to let him go. I have to move on. I have a family right here," He looked up at his adoptive father. "including a father that loves me. It would be stupid to throw it all away." He laid his head down against Jascha's shoulder. "It's hard, you know?"

"I know. I imagine you're feeling very much how I felt when I lost my father years ago. I knew I could never have him back in my life, but that didn't stop me from wishing it. Only time can help you with that."

"He said that he never disowned me or nullified the adoption, and that if I had a child, that child would be the heir to Radiant Garden and could claim the throne once they were old enough. He even gave me the heir's ring to pass on."

Jascha laughed quietly. "Oh, does this mean you're a royal brat then? Wait until I tell your mother; I can't wait to see the look on her face when she hears that."

Xavier could just picture the shock, with a touch of horror, on his mother's face upon hearing such a thing, and he laughed as well. "Better not tell her that. She might come after both of us with her wooden spoon."

"Of course, for a child of yours to claim the throne, you would have to have one first, and you need to find someone to spend your life with first."

"Admit it, you and Mama just want grandchildren."

"I'm not going to deny that."

The two of them looked at each other, and then they both started laughing. After a moment, Jascha stood up and pulled Xavier up with him. "Come, it's late, and I know your mother saved you some supper."

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"I really do love you, and I'm sorry if I made it seem like I didn't."

"Oh Xavier," Jascha gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't apologize. I understand that you can't always control what you feel. You love Ansem; it's perfectly normal for you to want him in your life." He clapped Xavier on the back. "Now let's go inside and see if your brothers ate your supper for you."

"They better not have!"

The two of them laughed as they walked out of the barn and towards the house.

******

Over the next few days, Xavier went about his business, seeing patients, working with Even and Taylor, caring for his family's animals, and he tried not to think about Xehanort or Ansem. To his surprise, the night he had returned home, he had found the quilt his mother had made for Xehanort lying across his own bed, and his parents had pointed out that since it had been made for his younger self, then technically it was his. He hadn't been able to argue with that.

It was strange, he thought, how quickly he had become used to the constant presence of a child. Alexander was around as always, and like any other child was constantly underfoot, but it was different from Xehanort's presence. A child that he had believed to be his own felt completely different from his little brother.

It had been spread around town that Xavier had only been fostering Xehanort until the boy's real family could be tracked down, so it was accepted that the boy had returned home, so no one bothered Xavier about him other than to ask if he was doing alright. To this, Xavier could answer truthfully that yes, Xehanort was doing as well as could be expected, which of course, he was. He sometimes searched his heart for any trace of the boy within him, but the many facets of his heart and mind (Minus Master Xehanort, of course) seemed to have merged fully back together into a single being, and no hint of the child could be found.

"You're not going to find him that way," Even told him patiently one day while they were riding between towns, during their rounds.

"What do you mean?" Xavier asked. He had mentioned to Even about his heart searching, but that hadn't been the response he had been expecting.

"All you need to do to find him is look in the mirror, Xavier. I saw you in every move that child made, in every word he spoke. I believe now that you aren't a new personality created when Master Xehanort was sealed away, but your original self before your corruption by Darkness."

"But Xehanort said -"

"I know what Xehanort told you in your dreams, but remember, he suffered from amnesia and didn't remember your life before the possession. To him, it would seem as if he had just been born as it were, but I believe it's more likely that your original personality was able to come back with Master Xehanort gone. You are the child that was here, just grown and with years of life experiences to draw on."

Xavier nodded silently in understanding, and they rode in silence for a mile or so, before Xavier spoke again. "Have the others given any thought to Ansem's invitation to return?"

"They're of two minds about it. On one had, they would like to, but on the other hand, they are settling nicely in their new home, and they're afraid of any repercussions they would face since it was found that they knew about you the entire time. Ansem may not do anything to them, but others might. Of course, they know I do not ever intend to return. Vexen is happy here, which is all I need to justify my decision to stay. And that reminds me. How did Isa react when you told him of Ansem's apology?"

"He just shrugged and said it was too little, too late. I know he never wants to return to Radiant Garden anyway, though Lea's thinking about paying a visit."

"I think Lea misses Radiant Garden more than he'll ever admit. He stays here for Isa's sake."

Xavier nodded in agreement. "Isa's family disowned him and never attempted to defend him, so he has no reason to return. Lea on the other hand is still friends with Sora and company, plus he has friends from before the world's destruction that survived that he wants to touch base with."

"And what about you, Xavier?"

"Huh?"

"Any plans to return to Radiant Garden?"

"No," Xavier replied with a shake of his head. "Ansem was right that it would be too dangerous to risk being seen, and I believe that I were to go, it would make it that much harder to stay away. I love it here, I love my friends and family here; I don't want to risk it for something that I can't have."

"Wise decision."

"Enough about me." Xavier grinned, and Even gave him a wary look. "The Spring Festival is coming up, and I've noticed a couple of women from town eyeing you. Don't be surprised if they pounce on you at the dance."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Very much. You're an unattached man, and apparently raising a child makes you more appealing to them. I heard them gossiping about your handsome self the other day."

"That's it, Vexen and I are staying home. I will not be 'pounced on' like I'm a side of beef."

"Oh, but Vexen was looking so forward to going. You don't want to disappoint him don't you?"

Even looked at him with a sour expression. "Then you can take him. I want nothing to do with women."

"Men then?"

"Xavier! I do NOT like men! I just like being single!"

Xavier laughed out loud. "Awwww, Vexen is going to be so upset. He was chattering to me the other day about all the fun that he was going to have with Daddy at the festival."

Even sighed in aggravation. "Fine! I'll go, but you're going to be there to deflect their attention away from me."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I'm not the only one they gossip about, you know."

"Oh lords, and my mother will attempt to set me up, I know it."

Even cackled. "You're young -"

"I'm 82 years old!"

"Not in that body, you're not, and there's all these young women that would love to get their hands on you. Try not to kill any of them."

"Mega Flare, I'll use Mega Flare."

"I said not to kill them!"

"It might not!"

"No, it'll just roast them alive. Seriously Xavier, you're young still. Go find someone."

"Now you sound like my father."

"He's a smart man, you should listen to him."

"And my mother, both of them."

"How did such smart people produce such a dense son then?"

"Hey! I am not dense!"

"Dense AND stubborn."

"Even!"

"Oh relax, Xavier, you know I'm only teasing you."

Xavier looked down at the saddle. "I'm just not ready for such a thing, Even. It's too soon after everything..."

"I think you are, and you just don't want to admit it, now let's hurry or we're going to be late." With that Even urged his horse into a canter before Xavier could reply. Xavier shook his head, grumbled about matchmaking friends, and nudged Hannah into a canter to follow him.

******

The Spring Festival happened every year in Haven's Bridge, though its exact date changed from year to year, as it took place to celebrate the planting, so the planting had to be done before it could happen. People would gather in the largest town, the one Xavier and his family lived by, to sell crafts and baked goods, gossip with their friends and relatives, play games, sing, make music, and dance. It went on nearly around the clock for three days, and once it was done everyone would return home and count the days until the Harvest Festival in the fall.

Xavier never particularly enjoyed the Spring Festival, because it was a fraction of the size of the Harvest Festival, which was just more fun in general, yet he still attended every year. He listened to the bands (Whose membership changed from song to song.) chatted with people, enjoyed pastries from the vendors, and drank a lot of iced tea. (Ice courtesy of himself and Even.) He heard some of the single women talking about him, but he ignored them. He wasn't ready for that yet. He wasn't interested in that...

…. wow.

Just because he wasn't interested didn't mean he couldn't look and enjoy the view, he told himself as he looked at the pretty girl standing on the opposite side of the dance floor from him. He remembered her as being from one of the other towns, but he had never gotten her name. She was about to his chin height wise, and her brown hair was sun bleached to a dark red in multiple areas. She glanced over at his direction, and their eyes met for a split second. She smiled at him, and he returned it and waved a small wave.

Oh dear, was that his mother standing there? And she had spotted their smile and wave. Wonderful...

Sure enough, a few minutes later, in a break between songs, Elissa led the lady over to him. Was it too early for him to go home? Maybe he could beg off saying he had work to do at the hospital.

"Xavier, I'd like you to meet someone." His mother's voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he found the two of them standing right in front of him. "This is Mary. Mary, this is my son Xavier."

"One of our doctors," Mary said with a small smile, and Xavier couldn't help but notice how the smile was reflected in her hazel eyes.

"That would be me." he replied with a smile of his own, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother grin in triumph.

"I'll leave you two to get acquainted." she said, and then she skipped off. Off to his right, he saw Masa standing there with Akim, and they both gave him a wink and a thumbs up.

Don't spend the rest of your life alone, Xehanort.

Find that special someone.

You need to find someone to spend your life with first.

Seriously Xavier, you're young still. Go find someone.

Oh why in the hell not?

"Would you like to dance?" he asked as he offered her his arm.

She took it with a mischievous smile that made his heart do strange things. "I'd love to. Lead the way."

He couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face as he led her onto the dance floor just as a new song started up, and as they caught the beat, he saw his father standing on the edge of the crowd, watching them with a pleased smile.

Xavier turned back to his dance partner as the song hit its stride, and he felt that constant ache in his heart finally begin to ease. Finally, he felt as though everything was as it should be. Xehanort lived on within him, Ansem did not hate him, and he had the love of his current family.

That was all fine by him.

******

A/N 3: Aaaaaaaaaand we're done! For those that are curious, the Hart family crest can be seen in the first Kingdom Hearts game in the castle chapel in Hallow Bastion. It's on the wall above the dark gateway to take to fight Dragon!Malelificent. You can see it here.


Chapter 13.0 --
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